All Hail Mr. Goxx, the Crypto Trading Hamster Who’s Killing It

All Hail Mr. Goxx, the Crypto Trading Hamster Who’s Killing It
A hamster, not Goxx. (Photo: FREDERICK FLORIN/AFP, Getty Images)

Meet the social media sensation that is taking the world of crypto trading by storm: his name is “Mr. Goxx” and he is a hamster from Germany. You can stream his trades on Twitch.

Named after Mt. Gox — the notorious Bitcoin exchange that closed in 2014 after a reported $US460 ($631) million of holdings went missing — the hamster has been making a big splash in the world of investing, largely with the help of his “human business partner.” Said anonymous pet owner has facilitated much of the hamster’s rise to fame and fortune and presumably operates all of his social media accounts. “World’s first crypto asset trading hamster!” the critter’s Twitter account proudly proclaims. It also provides regular updates on the status of his financial activity.

You’re probably wondering how a hamster makes trades. According to a video on his YouTube account, the whole thing works like this: Goxx occasionally enters his “office” (also known as the “Goxx box”), which is replete with a hamster wheel (dubbed the “intention wheel”) and two separate tunnels, respectively labelled “buy” and “sell.” Running on the wheel initiates a transaction: an automated, rotating Rolodex of 30 different cryptocurrencies is tied to the wheel’s motion (Bitcoin, Ethereum, and other prominent coins are included). After Goxx exits the wheel, whatever tunnel he runs through subsequently initiates a “buy” or “sell” position on that particular token.

This whole setup has apparently been delivering big wins for the tiny rodent. Actually, reports show that Goxx has been outperforming Warren Buffet, the NASDAQ 100, and the S&P 500 — with his portfolio up about 20 per cent since he first started trading in June. Granted, he’s been moving a much smaller amount of capital around (his account holdings have reportedly grown from the Euro equivalent of $US381 ($523) to $US498 ($684))…but still! Way to go, buddy.

Since he burst onto the scene several months ago, Goxx has swiftly become a global sensation. The furry little trader recently made it onto a CNBC segment and has also been written about by the likes of NPR, BBC, Vice, and other outlets throughout the world.

Of course, on its Reddit page, the Goxx account gently reminds people that this is all just for fun and that you shouldn’t actually look to a tiny rodent for financial advice — even if he’s on TV:

The stream and all related posts are for entertainment purposes only. Investments shown here are not financial advice. Do not make financial decisions based on trades or data shown here.

Yes, don’t take investment cues from a former Petco inhabitant: a good life lesson for us all. That said, how great would it be if Mad Money replaced Jim Cramer with a hamster? Just a thought.