Halloween is only a couple of months and change away, so you know what that means: Gizmodo’s annual round-up of the worst and weirdest costumes 2021 has to offer. But that’s for some other day, because right now we’re taking a look at Disney’s new line of pet costumes! If you and/or your dog like to play dress-up, here are your options from worst to best.
Flounder, The Little Mermaid
Disney, explain to me what this is. It’s definitely not a dog that’s supposed to look like Flounder, because if so then the dog’s head wouldn’t be jutting from its mouth. It sort of looks like Flounder has eaten the dog, like Jaws, but since the costume just gives up halfway down the dog’s torso, it’s more like someone has partially gutted Flounder and draped it inelegantly on top of their pet. But even that sucks, because the placement of the dog’s head crushes Flounder’s face, meaning even that looks like crap.
Grogu, The Mandalorian
I know Grogu is far more likely to eat a living dog than Flounder is, but this lame Baby Yoda costume doesn’t even manage that, let alone look like Baby Yoda. The hat is shaped far too weirdly to imply your dog is cosplaying as the Child, and the eyes ruin it completely by giving the costume two faces — the hat should have just been the ears. With the face/head ruined, the frog-holding hands are difficult to visually decipher. I may be ranking this a little harshly, but I can’t help penalise it for how easily it could have been improved.
Pascal the chameleon has the exact same problems as Flounder, but since it covers more of the dog’s torso — especially thanks to its large limbs — it works better. Not well, but better. It helps if you squint.
This isn’t the worst-designed dog costume — there’s only one face, the front paws work well as Mickey’s legs, the ears are fine — but the mouse’s shape just does not work. This Mickey looks like he’s got a huge beer gut, and the way the arms jut out awkwardly, as if he’s drunkenly trying to keep his balance, doesn’t help either.
I’m sure this costume seemed like a great idea on paper. Dress your dog like the flying carpet from Aladdin, and have a little plush Abu riding on her! Unfortunately, the dog isn’t dressed like the carpet it all — she just has a small carpet draped on her, so Abu looks like a jockey.
Stitch, Lilo & Stitch
Still a bad costume design, but at least we know Stitch would definitely eat dogs.
Dopey, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
A perfectly functional costume! The proportions are good, the arms are minimalized and unobtrusive, and the full front of the dog is utilised. The problem is that without his distinctive face, Dopey the dwarf looks like any old garden gnome. You’d need to really remember Dopey’s outfit and colour scheme to immediately identify this dog as Dopey. Still, it’s a solid garden gnome costume.
No notes. Looks excellent. The way the dress is designed is clear, allowing the dog unimpeded movement while consistently maintaining its “dress”-ness.
Woody, Toy Story
Just as well-designed as Minnie, but far more elaborate! Without turning the dog’s front paws into Woody’s “legs,” the dog looks like he’s wearing the disguise instead of you forcing him into it. The sheriff’s badge is great and so is the hat (assuming the latter isn’t photoshopped). Many human Woody costumes aren’t this good!
Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story
Confession: I know this Buzz costume looks markedly worse than the Woody costume. However, Buzz’s jetpack wings light up at the tips, which will look rad when you go for Halloween night walkies.
Ursula, The Little Mermaid
The ambition of this costume outweighs its execution, but the execution is still mighty impressive. I guess the front legs are supposed to be more tentacles, but with the hard hem at the bottom they look like slacks. The hairpiece looks awkward, especially with the lavender slice of Ursula’s scalp apparently holding it all attached. But still, the octopus tentacles are A-plus. Disney villainess aside, if I saw a tentacled dog racing around on a dark night I would be utterly terrified, and you can’t usually say that about a pet costume.
Finally, Disney gets the “drape an animal over a dog” costume right. Imagine how much worse this would look if the top half of Sven’s skull was sitting on the dog’s head. Now, will people think you’ve dressed your dog like Max from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas? Absolutely, but at least that’s still a real costume.
Vampire Teddy, The Nightmare Before Christmas
Remember the evil teddy bear Jack Skellington gave to a couple of kids during his stint as Santa? I sure don’t, so I don’t know how well this design recreates the thing from the film. I do know, however, this looking at the resulting eldritch horror is a very effective costume. Is the creature eating the dog? Is it vomiting the dog? Have the two entities become entwined, and come to this earth as a harbinger of the nightmares to come? Whatever the answer, we are all doomed.
Tinkerbell, Peter Pan
This is a great fairy costume for a pet by itself, but the little blonde wig really sells it as Tinkerbell and not some generic fairy from a knock-off animated movie you found in some gas station bin. The wings shouldn’t be green — they should be more gossamer to set themselves apart from the dress — but literally every bulldog in the world should be forced to ear tiny wigs.
Wicket, Return of the Jedi
chef’s kiss> Outstanding. Minimal but completely evocative of Mr. J. Warrick even without arms, especially thanks to the laces and stitches. The only flaw is that this costume works best with a small-muzzled dog.
Winifred Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
PUT. DOGS. IN. WIGS. All the proof needed is this mesmerisingly perfect costume of Bette Midler’s evil witch from the beloved Hocus Pocus movies. Honestly, this is so outstanding it would be a crime to only put your dog in it on Halloween. It’s so amazing people should actually get dogs in order to put them in this costume. If you want it — or any of the other costumes seen here — they’ll be available on Shop Disney beginning August 20.