The 9 Most Batshit Moments Of Fast 9

The 9 Most Batshit Moments Of Fast 9

What I love about the Fast and the Furious franchise is that it can get away with pretty much anything, and it knows it. Every time it ups the ante the audience not only accepts it, we scream for more.

Case in point, Fast 9 just came out and it really went to great lengths to be as batshit as humanly possible. It’s a wild ride, quite literally, and here are just nine of the most insane moments. But don’t worry there are plenty more for you to enjoy when you see the movie.

And if you haven’t yet seen it yet and want to remain pure, I recommend smashing that back button because boy are there some spoilers ahead.

In fast 9 a plane catches a car

fast 9

Yes, you read that correctly.

Near the beginning of the film Jakob Toretto’s (John Cena) car goes flying off a cliff… only to be caught in the neon grips of a conveniently passing plane.

As it turns out, it was thanks to some high-powered magnets that are a central plot point to the entire movie.

Still, it was hilarious.

A car uses a rope bridge to swing like Tarzan

This moment happens about a minute after the above. Dom (Vin Diesel) and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) hit the gas to such an extent that they are able to use a falling rope bridge as a swing to get to the other side of a sizeable canyon.

Just normal physics stuff.

Helen Mirren street racing cops in Fast 9

fast 9

We first met Helen Mirren’s character, Magdalene Shaw (aka Queenie), in The Fate of the Furious. This crime queen is the mother of Shaw brothers and a bad bitch in her own right.

Rumour has it that Mirren was disappointed about not getting to drive in the previous film, and that sure changed this time.

In Fast 9 we see her chaperone Dom through the streets of London in a decidedly fast and furious fashion to escape the po-po — proving that perhaps she’s the best driver of the lot.

It is brilliant to behold.

Good health care for these young ladies

When Queenie drops Dom at a casual mansion outside of London, the place is teeming with hot women dancing around cars for no particular reason.

In fact, it seems like they are just there for appearances when Dom arrives, and I respect that.

But we find out from the rich guy bankrolling John Cena that all of these women are not only on the payroll but get great health care.

While that might not mean a whole lot for us Australians, for our American friends this has gotta be some wild shit.

Vin Diesel Fighting Off 30 hired goons at once and then destroying the structural integrity of a secret hideout with his bare hands

I mean, that pretty much sums it up. At one point Dom is fighting off the many henchmen who work for his brother. As he begins to lose he simply grabs some chains attached the the enclosed space they’re in and pulls them to collapse that section of the building.


Han is alive in Fast 9

fast 9

Cause fuck it, why not? apparently Mr Nobody (played by Kurt Russell) faked the car explosions from Furious 7. They figured he’d be safer ‘dead’. I won’t tell you why, you can enjoy that plot point for yourself.

They’re still making out like Paul Walker is alive

After Paul walker’s tragic death back in 2013, a lot of fans assumed that his iconic F&F character, Brian, would suffer a similar fate.

But no. Despite the fact that Vin Diesel’s son is named after Brian in a touching tribute, he is still very much alive in the F&F universe.

He’s name-dropped a few times throughout Fast 9 and they even make a big deal about his car rolling up to the old house as the end of the film.

Yes, they go to space

fast 9

We’ve known about this for awhile, but it’s still incredible. In Fast 9 a Pontiac Fiero does indeed go to space and it is so stupidly glorious that you can’t help but appreciate it.

However, it does leave me wondering what ridiculous new heights they can take things to in the next installment of the franchise.

A distinct lack of communication

For all the talk of family over the years, there has been an alarming lack of communication between Dom and Jakob.

In fact, the very plot of the movie — that Jakob killed Daddy Toretto which resulted in a decades-long-brotherly-feud that reached a boiling point when a weapon of mass destruction was stolen for some reason I guess — could have been avoided by one conversation that would have cleared the whole thing up.

But hey, that wouldn’t have been as dramatic, right?

Fast 9 is in cinemas now.