It’s possible you may have noticed that comedian Amy Schumer was trending on twitter today, something I’m not sure I’d ordinarily even notice, but the reason for it was something special: a post from a truck stop that featured a big rig driver that looked uncannily like Amy Schumer, only with a goofily vulgar T-shirt, one of those teardrop tattoos that usually suggests you’ve killed someone, a sign decrying public shitting, and more. Too much more, even.
Here, just look for yourself, from Celina 52 Truck Stop:
Where to start? The sign that says STOP Pooping In Our Parking Lot or how the mini fridge is worth $US500 ($641) “due to the Monster Energy branding,” or that shirt or the what reward points? There’s just too much ridiculous shit in here to pick what to focus on.
And that’s not even mentioning the Amy Schumer face, or that teardrop tattoo, which did merit an explanation from Celina 52 themselves:
See? It’s manslaughter, not murder. No biggie! We actually checked, and it’s even not such a biggie for some states’ CDL truck licenses, as “Causing a fatality through the negligent or criminal operation of a CMV” only carries a penalty of a one-year suspension. Huh.
Now, of course, all of this seems hard to believe because, yeah, it’s not real.
In case other posts like the one talking about the ghost sex sounds coming from their shower #3 don’t convince you, I did also notice that the description of their page did list “satire/parody,” though it appears they’ve removed that now.
But, come on. It’s all just too perfect, too absurd, too funny, too beautiful for our mundane reality. The featuring of rewards points winners seems to be a theme, too:
A bucket full of coconut cookies, stuffed animals, and condoms, all from a dude wearing a “Daddy’s Little Slut” T-shirt? Come on.
Celina 52 actually has a real gift for the hilarious fake shirts. Look at this one:
Harry Potter Hates Ohio! Gold! That’s GOLD.
They actually seem to have a site that sells shirts, and while they have the Truckin -n- Fuckin one, they sadly don’t seem to have the Harry Potter hates Ohio one. I guess there’s rights issues there, but still.
There’s also this important post:
A good urine jug is something I can absolutely appreciate, so I hope supplies open up again soon.
So, yeah, this absolutely seems to be a joke. I reached out to Celina 52 for comment, and they responded with this:
Amelia I don’t think is aware of any fame, but she is aware that her post has made its rounds on Twitter. She’s a great customer and even better trucker. One of the best there is honestly.
While it’s tempting to be disappointed that this magical place isn’t real, don’t be sad. It’s still pretty damn funny, and I sure respect a good hoax like this.
Just enjoy it for what it is, and stop shitting in the parking lot.