Please Shove Pizza Hut’s New ‘Nothing But Stuffed Crust’ Directly Into Our Mouth Holes

Please Shove Pizza Hut’s New ‘Nothing But Stuffed Crust’ Directly Into Our Mouth Holes
Image: Pizza Hut

Pizza Hut has lost its mind. But it’s 2021, and so have we.

To honour the legacy of the company’s delicious stuffed crust and (presumably) the unhinged year that’s been, Pizza Hut has created a pizza so ridiculously good-looking we can’t look it directly in the eye.

The only thing is: it’s not really a pizza at all. The new ‘Nothing But Stuffed Crust’ menu item is exactly what it sounds like: a stuffed crust pizza with no actual pizza. It’s just a round log of glorious, cheesy stuffed crust.

With this bad boy, you don’t need to worry about chewing your way through oily, unsatisfying pizza to get to the good stuff. Instead you can simply unhinge your jaw and feed the holy cheese snake into your mouth hole, centimetre by centimetre. Inch by inch.

In a year already filled with a mounting global pandemic and the attempted takedown of U.S. democracy, the ‘Nothing But Stuffed Crust’ pizza is what we all deserve.

Yes it’s technically just cheesy bread, but it’s so much more than that. It’s a gift from the pizza gods.

Sadly, Pizza Hut will only be launching the god-tier feed at four locations in the United States so you’ll have to make your own if you’re looking for a new go-to depression meal. According to Pizza Hut, it’ll only be given out free to the first 50 daily customers of stores in Los Angeles and Dallas. Free! And with no current plans for it to hit Australia!

Is there no justice in the world?

How To Create Your Own ‘Nothing But Stuffed Crust’ Pizza

If you do still want to sample this excellent-sounding, cheesy goodness, you’ll be happy to know there is a quick (and very exclusive) workaround. Here’s how to make your very own DIY ‘Nothing But Stuffed Crust’ pizza in Australia:

  1. Purchase any stuffed crust pizza from your local Pizza Hut outlet.
  2. Cut the inside of the pizza out with a bread knife and throw it directly in the bin.
  3. Eat crust.

In lieu of an official release, it’s the next best thing.

Go forth and live your best, pizza-filled dreams. We believe in you.