CES 2021 kicked off this week with some absolute banger announcements including all kinds of foldable, portable, roll-out and bendy screens. But like every year, there are some pieces of tech that break the mould. Tech so out there it’s hard to imagine who it’s for. Tech absolutely worth shouting about.
From the infamous taint bandaid to ‘smart lipstick’, digital influencers and more, this is the strangest tech of CES 2021.
The Taint Bandaid
Okay, let’s get this one of the way. Yes, it’s technology for penises, ha-ha. But Morari Medical’s taint bandage may be a lifesaver for people suffering premature ejaculation. Basically, it helps stimulate the penis and delay an ejaculation during sex. It has an important use and we shouldn’t laugh, but then again: taint bandaid.
Roll the phrase around your tongue.
It’s an incredible innovation but still very, very strange.
Update 3:18 p.m. 12/1 AEDT: This entry has been updated to more accurately describe the purpose of the taint bandaid.
YSL’s Magic Lipstick
Imagine you could own a lipstick with every colour of the rainbow. A lipstick that could unlock any shade you could ever dreamed of. That’s what the The Yves Saint Laurent Beauté Rouge Sur Mesure Powered by Perso is for.
You simply insert three different (or same) coloured pods into the body, and the device mixes them up together into the perfect lippy blend. It’s set to cost $US299 ($388) and is already available for pre-order for the fashion-conscious.
While the idea of ‘smart beauty’ might seem wild, it’s become a quiet revolution in the tech industry. In an era where even mirrors are smart, beauty is evolving at a rapid pace. Having an on-the-fly choice of lipsticks is definitely a bougie luxury, but it’s an intriguing idea.
Robots are coming. They’ve been coming for a long time, but with each leap they grow stronger and more advanced. The latest trend (which can already be seen on social media) is the rise of digital influencers. There’s already many popular Instagram pages featuring non-existent models and CGI personalities, but LG helped solidify the rise of these influencers at its CES 2021 conference.
Rather than using a human presenter, LG introduced their CLOi UV-C cleaning robots via Reah Keem. She’s a virtual influencer who runs a popular Instagram page and ‘loves’ making music. During the presentation, Keem announced she was happy working in her studio but was looking forward to the end of the coronavirus pandemic.
She’s just one of a new wave of creepy virtual influencers set to take over the globe.
Qoobo is a tailed, furry cushion designed to replicate the comforting feeling of holding a cat without all the responsibilities of actually owning a pet. As you hold it, the cushion’s tail will swing from side-to-side in slow motions, lulling you into a sense of security.
It’s been a staple of CES and IFA over the past few years, but we’re still not over it.
If you’ve ever wanted to be comforted by a cat with no head, this is the device for you. The Qoobo is cute, but it’s hard to deny how deeply weird it looks.
The Wine Robot
The future is designed to make everything easier, so why shouldn’t we have a robot just for pouring us wine? We all work hard. You in particular. You deserve the wine robot.
Technically Bot Handy is an extra hand for anything you need in the kitchen, but the most important part is definitely the wine. It even has an AI censor that detects the shape, size and weight of objects to prevent any spillage.
It’s also got a happy little robot face, and we love that a lot.
Okay, it’s not called the UWii but it absolutely should be.
The DFree is a portable ultrasound device designed to measure your bladder and determine when you need to go to the bathroom. It’s weird tech, but that doesn’t mean there’s no practical application. For those suffering bladder incontinence, it could be the very device that allows them the freedom to experience life to the fullest.
Still, a little machine that measures the pee inside your body is quite the new normal yet.
AirPop Active Plus Smart Mask
It’s the era of the pandemic, baby. Breathing on your friends is out and mask-wearing is in.
If you’re not happy simply masking up and heading off, AirPop has the answer for you. The company’s newest tech is a breathable smart mask designed to monitor how well you’re breathing, particularly when you’re out exercising.
Like all smart devices it connects to an app, and that app will tell you what the air quality is, how well you’re breathing and even alert you when you need to change the mask’s filters. Plus, it’ll protect you from that whole coronavirus thing.
We’re living in strange times indeed.
This toilet from Toto will analyse your excrement and tell you how your poop is doo-dooing. While it’s set to launch well into the future, this very judgemental toilet is set to provide analysis that’ll directly impact your health and diet.
For runny poos, it may recommend more iron in your diet. It could also recommend specific healthy meals like salmon or vegetables.
Basically, if you want to shit in peace the future is looking scary. But perhaps your poop could save your life if you let this device take a peek.
Razer’s Gamer Mask
We knew Razer loved RBG lights but phwoar, who could’ve seen this badarse RGB face mask coming?
This high tech N95 number from Razer has a full-on filtration system, rechargeable ventilators, replaceable filters and rainbow RGB lights. Who needs your standard rewashable masks when you’ve got this bad boy potentially coming in the future?
By the time it becomes a reality we hope the coronavirus pandemic is over, but it could still make for a fashionable accessory in the post-pandemic years after.
Wild Flying Taxis
Flying taxis are coming. It’s just a matter of time. But do they have to look as threatening as this?
The GM Cadillac eVTOL is a concept for a flying taxi that runs on batteries, and appears to support only a single passenger. How it’ll function is currently unclear, but it’s likely to run off some form of AI.
The eVTOL is a neat idea, and just one among many new flying taxi concepts, but it also looks deeply threatening. Like some kind of evil cyber cop from the future.
Extremely Extra Bathtub
As Gizmodo Australia editor Tegan Jones put it, bathing in your own filth has never been so fancy.
This smart bathtub from Kohler costs around $20,000 but for that price you’ll get the best bathing of your life. The tub rocks RGB lights, includes voice activation, generates fog and includes an aromatherapy ‘experience tower’.
You can also set your preferred temperature and water level via an app and watch as the bathtub fills itself from the bottom of the tub. Clearly the people of the future will be too bougie for regular knobs.
You can read more about the Kohler Stillness smart bath here:
Sleep Stomach Sticker
Those three words taken together could mean anything, but in this context they refer to Tatch’s latest wearable. This device attaches to your stomach and chest, and measures your breathing while you sleep.
Like the nosy toilet above, it’ll make a judgement call on how well you’re sleeping and tracks what positions impact your overall sleep levels. All in a strange little sticker!
The future is set to be a very weird, wonderful place.
There’s sure to be more madness on the CES 2021 showfloor as the week goes on. This article will be updated as we come across more tech in the wild.
Stay tuned to Gizmodo Australia for all the latest updates from CES 2021 and beyond.