I do internet for a living so I’ve seen some weird Craigslist listings. But even still, nothing prepared me for bearing witness to the sale of a M&M sex doll.
About a month ago, someone who claims to be called Cliff Buford made a listing on the Craigslist for St. Louis, Missouri.
The post is titled “Green M&M adult bespoke custom made doll“. For just $US200, the advertisement claims, you own this doll — although it’s noted that the condition is only fair.
And there’s pictures. My word, there are pictures.
The poster has uploaded 7 photographs of the doll from various angles.
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It is made from what appears to be a fairly standard green M&M toy that has big puckered lips and long eyelashes. The dimensions of the toy are unknown.
Where this toy veers off from expectations is what appears to be a Fleshlight — a sort of vagina-emulating sex toy — that has been inserted between the legs of the green M&M. It appears the craftsperson has ripped the green M&M’s fabric roughly to allow this customisation.
This alteration has been captured by the photographer in three of the photographs, including one close up.
At this point, it’s probably worth mentioning that while this object is certainly real, it does have all the hallmarks of someone trolling Craigslist.
The post’s poor spelling, odd punctuation and strange remarks suggest that this may be the handiwork of someone hoping to evoke laughter rather than pleasure.
“Look at the pitchers. Custom made and gently used. Needs a good home.. adults only. Email cliff Buford or reach me on Facebook massager. Ain’t got a phone no more cause Joe Biden has been listening to my phone calls with the CIA,” the text reads.
At Gizmodo, we take all topics seriously. As such, this intrepid journalist has reached out to the poster for comment about this Frankenstein’s M&M sex doll. This post will be updated if we hear back.