God, This Standing Keyboard Is So Cursed

God, This Standing Keyboard Is So Cursed

Now that this interminable election cycle has finally come to an end, we can get back to business as usual. Like gaping at this wholly unsettling standing keyboard that nobody asked for.

But making shit nobody asked for is absolutely on-brand for Matt Benedetto, a designer who’s built a following off of his Unnecessary Inventions brainchild. As the name might suggest, the project’s seen Benedetto design and craft a bevy of bizarre creations from crutches that double as pogo sticks to a phone case that scrolls through your newsfeeds for you.

This week, he unveiled his latest unnecessary invention: a fully functional standing keyboard that looks like some unholy collab between Playmobil and Salad Fingers.

You can watch the cursed creation process from start to finish here on the project’s YouTube channel if you’re curious or, heaven forbid, you want to make your own.

This abomination started out as a standard VicTsing mechanical gaming keyboard (note: VicTsing sponsored the video) that Benedetto then outfitted with all new, ridiculously long keycaps mapped to its dimensions. Each one is comprised of two parts: An 8-inch standing rod that attaches to the keyboard at one end and a standard keycap that connects to the opposite end.

He then 3-D printed these pieces using polymer resin and voila! Jiggly nightmare fuel (seriously, that jiggling is the most unsettling part for me; keyboards were never meant to jiggle!)

Actually assembling each of the keycaps and attaching them to the keyboard took longer than anticipated, Benedetto said in the video. But he seemed happy with the end result, especially with how you can still see the keyboard’s built-in LED lights through the resin.

“Honestly, this thing is pretty ergonomic for standing,” he noted.

With the pandemic keeping many of us stuck working from home, I’ll admit it’s made me hyper-aware of everything wrong with my posture. I suppose that I’m happy some folks are finding creative solutions to this problem, but please, dear God, let me unsee it.