Today Hasbro announced the latest edition to its “retro” line of Spider-Man Marvel Legends action figures, bringing classic takes on beloved heroes and villains from Peter’s world and putting them on cardbacks that, if you’re as damaged as I am, immediately make your internal monologue start shredding a guitar and going “spider-man, spider-man, radioactive, spider-man” on loop.
But who wants Spider-Man and Mary Jane, or Kingpin or Mysterio, when you could have the real man of the hour: J. Jonah Jameson?
A “fan channel” exclusive available through specialist stores like Entertainment Earth — or directly through Hasbro itself at its Pulse website — the 6" scaled Jonah comes with a few accessories, mostly in the form of alternate hands that are all suitably enraged. There’s a clenched fist, for shaking as you curse Spider-Man’s name. There’s a pointing finger, for pointing at Spider-Man as you shake your clenched fist cursing his name (or to point at people to make sure they get you pictures. Pictures of Spider-Man!).
Then there are gripping hands for the two different versions of the Daily Bugle JJJ also comes with: one furled, and one unfurled, so you can read the actually printed stories fit for the Bugle’s front page:
I love that the pictures of Mysterio and Spider-Man are actually of the action figures, too. But honestly, my favourite detail about this figure is Jonah’s fluttering tie, perpetually in motion, like he’s always ready to stomp onto the scene yelling about a deadline or his favourite, tragic arch-nemesis. It’s the little things that make an action figure of a comic book newspaper editor worthwhile, really.
The Marvel Legends Retro J. Jonah Jameson is set to drop in December, for about $30.