Someone Please Stop Me From Buying This Two-Wheeled Death Machine

Someone Please Stop Me From Buying This Two-Wheeled Death Machine

When I’m not riding motorcycles, I’m usually thinking about motorcycles, which in our modern buy-it-now instant gratification society usually means trying to find my next motorcycle. The old axiom contends that the correct number of motorcycles to own is X+1, where X is the number of motorcycles you currently own. When trawling through the online ads for something to add to my collection, I usually search for my holy grail, the OG style icon 1981 Suzuki Katana. That’s how I found this thing.

Photo: Craigslist

When I first pointed my internet browser in the direction of this Katana I slammed my laptop shut, threw it out the window, and ran into the bedroom to hide under the covers for fear that I’d awoken the Jabberwock and it would come seeking me with its eyes of flame. It was only hours later that I managed to wrest myself from a state of fear and lay eyes upon the great kaiju. It appears to lay in a state of slumber, as it was neither biting with its jaw or catching with its claw.

Photo: Craigslist

In its slumberous state it is nevertheless a frightening thing to behold, but it has not the power to kill. I am almost lulled into a sense of safety, though I need keep my wits about me if I plan to make it out of this interaction unscathed. Would it be worth the risk to attempt mounting this beast’s great saddle, give it tame, and gallumph it into battle? No, I shall think not.

Photo: Craigslist

Never in a million years did I expect to find my holy grail motorcycle on my local craigslist. I especially did not expect to find it in such a modified state with forced induction on an enlarged engine. At the very least it was afforded an extended swingarm to help keep all of that power in a more stable platform, but I fear enough has not been done. A quoted 168kW turbocharged 1166cc engine in a forty-year-old chassis as stiff as an uncooked brick of tofu? Beware the Jabberwock.

Photo: Craigslist

Look man, I’m hardcore, but I’m not that hardcore. I bet it would be a whole shedload of fun for the few minutes until my untimely, yet wholly deserved, early grave jumped up and swallowed me whole. If only for the wrath my wife may render, this bike scares me silly. Keep your distance, devil bike. I won’t fall victim to your siren song. I will keep looking for the perfect Katana in stock form, thank you very much.

If you’re more adventurous than I am, and want to go chase down modern superbikes on something from the Reagan administration, you can find it here on Reno Craigslist for $US13,000 ($18,365) or best offer.

From the ad:

Custom 1981 1166cc Suzuki Katana with turbo charger dyno’d at over 226 HP [168kW]

Custom seat, longer swingarm, custom controls, Hayabusa front end…this thing is a monster!!!

Killer custom turbo on one of Suzuki’s most sought after, best looking and collectable motorcycles.