The new 2021 BMWs M3 and M4 are not supposed to be officially released until tomorrow, but images of them have been leaked in various places around the internet, so the inner peace we all once enjoyed before having seen these new BMWs has been shortened by a day. Sorry. Based on these pictures, it looks like BMW is really doubling down into the naked mole rat/Tycho Brahe without his fake brass nose look, for better or worse.
BMW just teased the new cars yesterday, when they shared on Twitter some images of the cars emerging from the steaming cauldron of frogsbane that their coven of highly-trained Bavarian witches used to develop new BMWs:
— BMW USA (@BMWUSA) September 21, 2020
The leaked pictures show a green M4 sedan and a pleasingly yellow M3 coupe. Interestingly, BMW has chosen to show them with licence plates in place, a refreshing change from previous images that have used cheater transparent licence plates and other unrealistic props.
We’ve seen plenty of hints at the design in concept cars, and it still has a strong resemblance to a naked mole rat, only now the dividing bar between the massive kidney grilles is body-coloured, and not black.
At best I guess I can say the front end looks determined and aggressive; at worst it’s simply ugly, a mean-looking, squinty monster, a face missing the cartilage of the nose like the Red Skull, malevolent and cruel, with fussy origami-folds in the lower air intake and scowling headlight units with hexagonal-ish DRLs.
Sometimes I look at it and it’s not that bad; I like this shot and the heat extraction vents on the hood.
The side profile isn’t bad, and I like the pronounced wheel bulges and that cutaway vent behind the front wheel. The lower rear facia seems needlessly busy, and a bit like the car is pooping out a smaller car.
The roofline and proportions of the coupé are good, I think, clean and not overdone.
One interior shot was leaked, and it shows a nice embrace of colour, with body-coloured elements on the upper part of the seats, and contrasting colour on the seats themselves and the lower dash. I like this part!
I’m sure these things will be a blast to drive, with RWD/manual versions planned and straight-sixes making close to 500 horsepower, and, when you drive them, you won’t have to look at that front end at all!
Maybe these will be responsible for a rebirth of the car bra. I mean, we’re all wearing face masks as it is, right?