You’re Probably Going To Have To Look At A BMW X8 Soon

You’re Probably Going To Have To Look At A BMW X8 Soon

In a move that has strong “Fuck Everything, We’re Doing Five Blades Now,” energy, the once-beloved German performance automaker BMW is further straying from god’s light, if a recent trademark caught by, via Automotive News, is anything to go by.

BMW has marked “X8 M” for itself, obviously suggesting there are plans to move beyond the current X7 as the SUV lineup’s flagship.

But a BMW X8 seemed inevitable, if it is coming, and it’s likely going to make even less sense than any other even-numbered BMW crossover before it. If it follows the X6 and X4, it will likely be another crossover coupe design with a sloping roofline that cuts down on the X7, to be “sportier.”

Photo: BMW

Because of this, I doubt it will have a very usable third-row seat, if any optional row back there at all. If that’s the case, it will be defeating the entire purpose of the bigger-sized BMW SUV, rendering itself a giant, impractical and most-assuredly hideous exercise in the last heaves of the current economic promise that there will still be a marketplace for giant performance SUVs in the near future.

The BMW X7 was literally a big deal when it debuted a few years ago because it was the automaker’s biggest SUV to date and its only three-row option. The entire point of making something bigger than the X5 was to fit a third row in the back.

I say this as someone who has come around to like the X7. I like how tall and slender it appears, with its boxy roofline. It reminds me of older Yukon and triggers some nostalgia. It’s also dangerously comfortable at high speeds.

This Ain't It, BMW

There are explanations for the following now-deleted tweet, yes, but few of them make any sense.

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