Panasonic Has A Portable Butt Cleaner

Panasonic Has A Portable Butt Cleaner
Image: Amazon

With toilet paper being increasingly hard to get in Australia thanks to coronavirus fears, people are wondering how they can wipe their butts if their supply runs out. Don’t worry, Panasonic has you covered.

While some Aussies might be able to casually install a bidet to use during a global pandemic, not all of us have that kind of cash. Fortunately, there’s a solution – the Panasonic Portable Bidet Handy Toilette.

Panasonic’s offering to the Bathroom Gods enables you to clean your downstairs mixup without the need of toilet paper or an expensive installation. It runs on AAA batteries (which are included, thank you Panasonic) and comes with an adaptor that “can be used to connect to larger volume container for cleaning”.

Sure, it looks like a suppository. But if it does the job I’m certainly not going to complain. Sacrifices need to be made during times of crisis.

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Unfortunately, this triumph of human will is a bit pricey. On Amazon it ranges from around $126 a pop to around $185. But if you’re that determined to enjoy a clean ring, you might be able to find it somewhere else for cheaper.

If you do go the Amazon route it’s worth noting that the Panasonic Portable Bidet ships from Japan, so there might be a delay. But considering that even public toilets in that country are generally fit for kings, it might just be worth the wait. And hey, Panasonic might not sell new TVs here anymore, but it is happy to help keep dat ass pristine.

I’m a huge advocate for technology solving problems, and I think we can agree this is perhaps its greatest feat yet.

If the company wants to send me one to review, I’ll do it. I have zero shame and my inbox is open. Your move, Panasonic.