Trump: Democrats ‘Fried Their Votes On Computer’

Trump: Democrats ‘Fried Their Votes On Computer’

U.S. President Trump thinks Democrats fried their votes on computer, he told reporters on Friday.

In reference to the Iowa Democratic presidential caucus debacle—in which a buggy app paid for by the state party malfunctioned disastrously, preventing timely reporting of caucus results that themselves were later found to be riddled with errors even when checking via paper backups—the president sagely advised that “I think they fried their votes on computer.”

“Think of it, all the money that the Democrats spent, and the votes are fried,” Trump added. “They have no idea who won! They have no idea.”

“But I’ll tell you who won on the Republican side, they accounted for every single vote. And it was a lot of votes, it was a record-setting number of votes,” Trump concluded, presumably referring to the 2020 GOP Iowa caucus, a race in which he essentially ran uncontested save for a single delegate won by libertarian Bill Weld. “Trump won.” Many Republicans are likely unaware that their party is even engaged in a primary at the moment. 

So, in summary: Trump not fried on computer. Democrats fried on computer. In light of the inconsistencies found in the Iowa caucus results, Democrats have announced that they will refry votes not on computer.