It’s not just tech giants who have wares to showcase at CES 2020: U.S. bog roll manufacturer Charmin has got in on the action too, demonstrating three frankly ridiculous conceptual prototypes designed to give you a superior shitting experience. Or, if you’re Rob Reinerman, the company’s brand director, “bring people a better bathroom experience.”
First up is the Charmin Rollbot, which is essentially a wheeled toilet-roll holder. Bluetooth controlled, it’s a bear-faced robot you can summon with your phone should you find yourself laying a brick but short on bumf. It promises to use infrared sensors to navigate your (hopefully single-storey) home and bring you a fresh roll in your time of need, assuming you’ve remembered to load it beforehand.
The Charmin SmellSense will warn you if a spouse, sibling, parent, loved one or mortal enemy has just dropped a stinky chunk of sewer chocolate before you walk into the bathroom. The electronic sensor would work by detecting the carbon dioxide and hydrogen sulphide found in our favourite number twos and notifying users via a Go/No Go display on the aroma’s palatability. Well done, Charmin. You’ve just invented the nose.
Okay, the Charmin V.I.Pee demonstrates the company’s admirable commitment to the absurd. Basically, it’s a premium portable toilet equipped with a VR helmet you’re meant to wear while taking a dump. Given it’s meant to be deployed at notoriously unhygienic public events like festivals and fun fairs, it’ll probably be best not to think about where the Oculus Rift S has been while putting it on.
If you’re mad enough to want to try any of these products from the Charmin GoLab, you’re shit out of luck, as for now they’re just on show at CES 2020 and hopefully that’s where they will stay. [Android Authority]
This post originally appeared on Gizmodo UK, which is gobbling up the news in a different timezone.