The ocean is full of aquatic horrors that leave one pondering whether there actually is a God.
As it turns out, it’s also full of Penis Fish, and thousands of them just washed up onto a random beach, which is absolutely cursed now.
Actually named Fat Inkeeper Worms (yes, really), they were found washed up en masse on Drakes Beach in Marin County Californis on December 7.
According to Nerdist, They were discovered by a bloke named David Ford who happened upon the pulsating fish as seagulls tried to devour them. Horrifying.
The Fat Inkeeper Worms (or Urechis Caupo) got the name due to the giving and selfless way that it feeds.
It essentially digs a hole on the ocean floor and sets up a ‘mucus net’ that will trap food particles. The Penis Fish will then retract the net and slurps up all of the nutrients from the particles. Since its unable to consume large particles, those will be left behind as a treat for other sea life.
And in case you wanted to double down on the NSFW details, the fish makes waste by squirting out poo pellets from its feeding tube. Delicious.
Here’s some closer looks at old mate Penis Fish. We highly recommend you hit play on the video if you want to know what its like to stare into the soul of satan himself.
Thousands of ‘penis fish’ wash onto California beach https://t.co/9bn6LUIWPE pic.twitter.com/hmOnds5MBw
— New York Post (@nypost) December 12, 2019
Thousands of penis fish washed up on a Point Reyes beach. Yes, really. https://t.co/wH53tDLpM0 pic.twitter.com/iCfW1kgSGX
— SFGate (@SFGate) December 12, 2019
Meanwhile, in other gaming news…the Dick Stranding has begun?
— Cory Barlog (@corybarlog) December 13, 2019
Until then, you have to live with yourself.
Urechis caupo- innkeeper worm
???? by https://t.co/gxbzAvvPaZ pic.twitter.com/2wdFt0tuQR— Роман Федорцов (@rfedortsov) August 17, 2018
If you were hoping to cop a glimpse of the Penis Fish in Australia, you sadly can’t. They’re only found in a distinct area of coastline between Oregon and California.
While horrifying to bear witness to, it’s weirdly comforting to know that the world continues to deliver when it comes to proving how fucked up it is. All hail the Penis Fish.
[Nerdist]