I'm A Tech Blogger And I'm Here To Say / The #MAGACHALLENGE Sucks In A Major Way

Photo: John Bazemore, AP

Are you a sad enough dude to debase yourself for the U.S. president? Here’s yet another reminder that for many of America's citizens, the answer is absolutely “and how!”

The #MAGACHALLENGE started in mid-September by a pro-Donald Trump YouTuber Bryson Grey, who raps under the name “B.Serious” and scored a brief moment of fame in the right-wing media ecosystem when he was videotaped saying “I have a lot of friends who tell me that I shouldn’t support Donald Trump because I’m black, which is sort of insane because I can support whoever the hell I want. And then also they tell me that I shouldn’t wear the MAGA hat, so I bought the biggest MAGA hat.”

Since then, Grey has been asking his fellow Trump supporters to record a rap video showing their support for America's big, wet, racist boy.

The challenge could only be described as mildly-viral before Friday—that’s when Trump tweeted that he would personally be picking out “winners” and inviting them to the White House to “meet with me and perform.” (Previous “winners” of competitions with the prize of meeting Trump one-on-one have largely not, in fact, been given opportunities to meet with Trump one-on-one.)

As always, it’s not clear whether the U.S. president or one of his underlings decided to lend the executive branch’s endorsement to the #MAGACHALLENGE. It’s also sparked some speculation as to whether Trump’s objective here is to lure his critics into punching down at his supporters. It is our position that while encouraging Trump supporters to rap for his amusement is certainly cruel, any theory of the president’s behaviour asserting that a 4D chess game is at play is trying at least three dimensions too hard, and possibly all four.

In any case, the proverbial juice is now verbally loose. We put ourselves through the torture of looking through this stuff and don’t recommend you do the same unless you are a masochist or feeling particularly mean-spirited today:

“I am not a racist / I ain’t a supremacist / I am a conservative / and socialism is my nemesis / The #MAGACHALLENGE is a sign of the times / Hip-hop community supported Trump / But now they tear him down, why?”

Lil Trump, bitches love / Journos hate me / ‘Cuz I’m building walls / And calling ‘Ice Ice, baby’ / 50 on my wrist / Eating burgers daily / Bitch it’s Lil Trump / Call my dick climate change

We’re gonna stand up, keep it real let you know what’s up / I voted for a man named Donald J. Trump / Cause when they’re playing the anthem I stand up / I know that half of America will too / And we ain’t scared of no Kim Jong Un

Heard MAGA chatters from over the pond / Watching their vids just had to respond / Sick of all the left-wing bias / BBC just full of paedophile liars / World’s waking up to all the illusion / Clean break Brexit, massive confusion

This is a rap about a MAGA hat / The one that always taken by a Democrat / Trump’s policies are so grand / Watching the economy expand / So take your friends to a MAGA crowd / Where the love of freedom is found / Let them conform to the Trump plan / Ask that Glenn Beck, he’s now a MAGA man

Watch the Trump base expand, expand

Watch the Trump base expand, expand

Walk a parade, walk away, walk away

Walk a parade, walk away, walk away

I know a lie / When I Smolletts, when I Smolletts

I know a lie / When I Smolletts, when I Smolletts

I’ve been MAGA since the ride on the escalator / all those other candidates, I said see you later / Luther San Antonio work on Project Alamo / everyone said Donald’s gonna lose, how could I not know / only won 306 back in November, Michigan, Pennsylvania / Pepperidge Farm remembers

How you gonna tell me who I should vote for / And why are you basing it on my skin colour / Don’t think just because I’m black that I only vote Democrat / That’s really kind of whack (yeah) / We live in America where we’re free / So back off leftists and let me do me / If I want to vote for Donald Trump it’s cuz I don’t like socialism / That shit is for bums

Go Trump, go 2020

Keep America great if you like your money

Go Trump, go 2020

Keep America great if you like your money

Yeah

I’m votin’ Trump / Red-pilled, red Kool-Aid in my cup / You can tell me what you want and I’m like so what / [indecipherable] MAGA hat like [indecipherable]

Yeah I know what it is

[indecipherable] funny money these people are sick

What’s the crazy shit they [indecipherable] it don’t stop

‘Bout to [indecipherable] drain the swamp

Hey, yeah / See they don’t matter, huh / MAGA on my head, I had to flex, ya / Look right, look left, where they at, huh / Liberals lurking ‘cuz we the best, yeah / Yeah you see that we the best in this game / They call me MAGA boy ‘cuz my hat be insane / Big letters see ‘em popping off my brain

If you’d like to help feed Trump's desperate craving for public praise and attention after he got booed at the World Series and a UFC match over the past few weeks, you know what to do. But please, for the love of God, don’t make us listen to it.

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