Evil Boulder Menace Somehow Manages To Take Out A Fistful Of SUVs

Image: KETV

A boulder in a Omaha parking lot has become a minor local celebrity thanks to the legions of SUV drivers who seem to want to do some off-roading in a quiet strip mall. Much like the infamous 11-foot-8 bridge (RIP), there is a quiet-yet-easily-avoidable menace, just sitting there, lurking, waiting to take out vehicles that are just slightly too large.

Over a dozen drivers of SUVs have gotten stuck on this large, plainly visible boulder outside of a strip mall, according to KETV. A couple of times a month it seems giant vehicles wash up on this rock, one person who works nearby said:

Since mid-summer, more than a dozen drivers have cut the corner too tight to end-up with a piece of the rock under their vehicle.

“Yep, here’s another one,” said Brendon Worshek who works nearby. “Its been a record 30 days. I’ve counted at least five. There was a span where we had like three days in a row of somebody getting stuck up there,” said Worshek.

Apparently, the excuse is when drivers in large vehicles are next to the large rock, the rock is essentially invisible. But is that really an excuse? As when driving, shouldn’t drivers typically be aware of where the curb is at least? The boulder is well within the confines of the curb. If these drivers were adequately navigating the parking lot in their giant cars, they’d be able to avoid the rock just fine.

What actually seems to be happening is that shitty drivers with large vehicles are used to getting away with not looking where they are going. They probably regularly clip curbs and roll on grassy medium without too much consequence and don’t expect to suddenly find their wheels in the air. Considering the boulder is essentially dog or child-size, this display of mindless driving should make us all very nervous, though I guess it sort of makes sense considering how OTHER people drive, definitely not me though, no sir.

While no one has been hurt yet, the parade of oblivious SUV drivers regularly beaching their bloated vehicles on a common and not exactly stealthy landscaping element doesn’t seem to be slowing down, so it may only a matter of time. Perhaps these drivers should find a small vehicle, one that encourages more attentiveness and less rock climbing.

I do know the pain of hearing an unexpected crunch while piloting a large vehicle, but in my defence, that large vehicle was a giant Nissan NV2500 in the days before backup cameras and I scrapped up the side against a two-foot tall brick wall hidden behind some brush. But a pretty giant, bright rock in the middle of a parking lot?

Hm.

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