I guess this is how we all die.
This week Paris zoo unveiled a new organism and nobody seems to know what it actually is.
It's referred to as The Blob and according to Reuters, it's a unicellular living thing that looks a lot like a fungus but behaves more like an animal.
It has a yellow, mousse-like appearance and can move one centimetre per hour. It also has the capability to double its size each day.
Despite having no brain, blobs can learn, as well as pass on knowledge to other blobs.
"The blob is a living being which belongs to one of nature’s mysteries”, said Bruno David, director of the Paris Museum of Natural History.
« Le #blob est difficile à placer dans l’arbre du vivant. (...) Il nous apprend bien des choses sur la richesse de la vie sur Terre », explique @BrunoDavidMNHN.
Rendez-vous dès samedi au @zoodeparis pour entrer dans la blob-zone ! ????@CNRS #RDVSauvage #5AnsZoodeParis pic.twitter.com/B6lQ7gnjDQ
— Zoo de Paris (@zoodeparis) October 16, 2019
"It surprises us because it has no brain but is able to learn... and if you merge two blobs, the one that has learned will transmit its knowledge to the other."
It can also be placed into a dormant state and woken up again. Reports say that it is also almost impossible to kill.
A blob can detect and consume food despite a distinct lack of mouth, stomach and eyes.
Apparently they quite enjoy mushrooms and porridge but stays away from salty food. And things get weird when they're not fed.
Animal cognition researcher at the Paul Sabatier University, Audrey Dussustour, lead the research on the blobs. After leaving them alone one weekend they melded on the roof.
"There was no-one in the lab, because of a personal problem, I could not go to feed the blobs... you have to know that when blobs escape, they find each other, and merge. Blobs always do that when they find a genetically-identical blob, they fuse to create a giant blob. And they had not found any oatmeal flakes, but they did find the laboratory ceiling."
If that wasn't terrifying enough, it can also reportedly self heal in two and a half minutes if cut in half.
The blob will be opened up for viewing by the general public later this week, despite no one really knowing how to classify it.
"The blob is neither a plant nor an animal. It is an unclassifiable as it has characteristics from the three major kingdoms. It eats like an animal, but breeds like a mushroom, and has a plant colour," said Dussustour.
It has also been reported that the blob has 720 sexes, though no further explanation in regards to how that was quantified has been explained yet.
According to Connexion France blobs can grow up to several square kilometres and scientists are hoping to utilise it for natural recycling, such as cleaning forest floors or polluted ground.
We expect that this thing will escape its Parisian confines before humans can put it to work, and subsequently take over the world. I for one welcome our new blobby overlords and promise to not force-feed it salty snacks.