Trump Insists He Could've Won Without Social Media During Morning Toilet Tweets

President Donald Trump attempting to stand like a normal person at the White House on March 8, 2019 (Photo: Getty Images)

Donald Trump insisted in a tweet yesterday morning, U.S. time, that he could’ve won the presidency in 2016 without the help of social media. But Trump immediately contradicted himself, sending out a series of follow-up tweets claiming that he doesn’t need the mainstream media and that social media is much more important.

Trump’s first tweet, which went out in the wee morning hours was about his so-called social media summit, which will feature far-right meme creators like Carpe Donktum and mad-liberals.

“The White House will be hosting a very big and very important Social Media Summit today,” President Trump tweeted at 6:39 am ET. “Would I have become President without Social Media? Yes (probably)!”

Google, Facebook, and Twitter aren’t invited to the meeting (scheduled for today), but shit-stirring vloggers like Bill Mitchell and Tim Pool have been welcomed with open arms. Far right cartoonist Ben Garrison was disinvited from the White House shortly after one of his particularly anti-semitic cartoons went viral.

Trump posted a four-tweet thread that continued his thoughts on the usefulness of social media, but seemed to contradict his claims that he could’ve won without it.

“A big subject today at the White House Social Media Summit will be the tremendous dishonesty, bias, discrimination and suppression practiced by certain companies. We will not let them get away with it much longer. The Fake News Media will also be there, but for a limited period.. [...] ....The Fake News is not as important, or as powerful, as Social Media,” Trump tweeted at 7:30 am in the morning local time.

“They have lost tremendous credibility since that day in November, 2016, that I came down the escalator with the person who was to become your future First Lady,” Trump continued. Trump came down the escalator during his infamous announcement in June of 2015, not November of 2016 when he was elected, it should be noted. Unless, of course, he’s talking about some other escalator ride that no one noticed.

“When I ultimately leave office in six...... [...] ....years, or maybe 10 or 14 (just kidding), they will quickly go out of business for lack of credibility, or approval, from the public. That’s why they will all be Endorsing me at some point, one way or the other,” Trump tweeted.

“Could you imagine having Sleepy Joe Biden, or @AlfredENeuman99,.. [...] ...or a very nervous and skinny version of Pocahontas (1000/24th), as your President, rather than what you have now, so great looking and smart, a true Stable Genius!” Trump tweeted, using a racial slur against Elizabeth Warren. “Sorry to say that even Social Media would be driven out of business along with, and finally, the Fake News Media!”

Best of luck to all of us. America's sure going to need it for the next 10 to 14 years, as the president “jokes.”

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