Generally speaking, there are only a handful of times in your life when its appropriate for someone else to be feeding you; when you're really young, really old, sick, or indulging in some sexy food play, Hotshots-style. A casual dinner out isn't one of them.
But in a move that perfectly embodies the 'literally no one' meme, Tastecard is opening up a popup 'Hands Off!' restaurant, and if the exclamation mark in the name wasn't enough to put you off, then perhaps the concept will.
Citing the restaurants of Bangkok as its inspiration, and providing a photo of two lobster-red men in Thailand being fed by a couple of women circa 1988, you two can sit your arse down at a table and have servers on minimum wage add 'feeding a perfectly capable adult' to their list of menial tasks.
You'll find the pop up in Marylebone, London, and the only saving grace is that 100 per cent of the proceeds will be donated to Mary’s Meal charity, which provides meals for kids in the world’s poorest communities. Which begs the question as to whether the staff are indeed getting paid, because I question the motive of anyone who'd willingly shove things in a strangers mouth for free.
Laughably labelled as a "decadent and indulgent experience," you can book tickets and nip along if you're casually in the UK during the single week that it's open, from Tuesday, June 11 to Friday, June 14.