U.S. Air Force Draws Giant Dick In The Sky, Claims It Was An Accident

Photo: Ross D. Franklin, AP

Yet again, U.S. armed forces have managed to trace the vague outline of a phallus in the clouds. This sky dong, which the Air Force contends was purely accidental, required a half dozen planes to complete.

The dick-resulting maneuvers were the result of a simulated dogfight, in which two fifth-generation F-35s (which cost around $130 million each to build, and $63,510 an hour to fly) pursued four old model F-35s above Luke Air Force Base in Arizona.

One wonders if the stealth aspects of these machines aren’t overridden by loudly painting a cock in your exact position, visibly for miles around.

According to Major Rebecca Heyse, Luke’s public affairs chief for the 56th Fighter Wing, “senior leadership reviewed the training tapes from the flight and confirmed that F-35s conducting standard fighter training manoeuvres Tuesday afternoon in the Gladden and Bagdad military operating airspace resulted in the creation of the contrails.

There was no nefarious or inappropriate behaviour during the training flight.” According to everyone else who reviewed images circulating on social media, however, these very appropriate and non-nefarious contrails in every way resemble a huge wang.

And drawing a sky dick, intentionally or accidentally, is not without precedent. The Navy disciplined two pilots that used their EA-18G Growler to draw a very similar shape in the sky nearly two years ago.

A non-military pilot who, it can be inferred was bored, used his plane to spell out the words “I’m bored” after also manoeuvring in the shape of two penises earlier this year.

We’ve reached out to Luke Air Force Base to learn which of the planes won the mock dogfight, and if that plane was that employed evasive manoeuvres which incidentally circumscribed the exact shape of a cartoon dick.

[Air Force Times/ Business Insider]

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