The Best Emails The Women Of Jalopnik Got In 2018

Photo: Joe Raedle, Getty Images

The women of Jalopnik get a lot of emails during our blogging workdays, from strings of profanity directed toward us to marriage proposals—because, of course, not enough women like cars. It’s hard to find the good ones like us out there, so you have to jump on those proposal chances while you can.

This year was no different than any other, and the women who bring you the car content on this website got plenty of memorable messages from readers and people who don’t read at all but notice the little “email” icon at the bottom of the story as they dive toward the comments section.

We get a plethora of other online comments similar to—and worse than—these emails, but those would take ages to sift through, so we’re only going to include the people who came directly to us in this post. And for that, we thank you.

Just kidding. We don’t. At all. Welcome to Dead Letters, Jalopnik-women style.

Subject: Grid girls

To: Alanis King

I had no idea that grid girls were indentured slaves. I had the impression - from what those women themselves said - that they loved that job. Anyway, I’m glad they’ve been released from bondage and are now free to seek employment that is politically correct. Who knows? Maybe their great great granddaughters will show up in numbers equal to male counterparts inside race cars on open-wheeled grids....yeah, right.

ALERT! ALERT! Unidentified body block: {"type":"ContainerBreak"}

From: Alanis King

Lol at your outlook on life

ALERT! ALERT! Unidentified body block: {"type":"ContainerBreak"}

To: Alanis King

I’m watching the Olympics opening ceremony. OMG! There’s a pretty, young girl leading out each delegation. Is averting my gaze the right thing to do?

How about more general questions? Is it OK for me to find some women more attractive than others? Is natural selection bad science?

Subject: Ms king. Have u ever raced anything at a high level?

To: Alanis King

Most of us want women to have a successful place in sports. Sometimes its side by side but most times its not.

Did u watch the winter Olympics recently? How much side by side gender sports did you see?

I have watched woman compete at high level motorsports for many years now at a close up viewpoint. What jorda is saying is true.

Danica Patrick is a star not just a bikini clad yogi. What she was able to do with the men will not be seen for a while.

Good luck wishing for something that isnt true. Most of those names you mentioned in your article dont have the skill set danica does.

Jorda is right because she has been there and has seen the truth first hand. Her world is more realistic than yours. Just like the worldly based IOC gets it. Let the girls compete with the men in motorsports if they want but let them succeed best amongst each other.

Thanks for the mind stretching article though.

Subject: Alanis King

To: [email protected]

I’m pretty tired about reading about Alanis’ woman’s rights articles disguised as racing news? Can these just get posted on one of your sister sites or something? It’s almost as brutal as all the articles on NYCs subway system

ALERT! ALERT! Unidentified body block: {"type":"ContainerBreak"}

From: Alanis King

luv u 2 thanks for being a fan

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

ALERT! ALERT! Unidentified body block: {"type":"ContainerBreak"}

To: Alanis King

Ha, you are a very good writer, no doubt about that. I guess I fundamentally wish F1 got more coverage on the cars/tech/races or just everyone stopped quoting that idiot saying women racers can’t compete with men. The world will be a better place when she stops getting a microphone for that mess

Subject: Cute cat

To: Alanis King

Cute black cat, give me a toot

Subject: (no subject)

From: Different sender than the one above

To: Alanis King

Hey I like you possy cat [heart-eyes emoji] [smiley-face emoji]

Gmail suggested replies:

Subject: Grid girls, YES!!!!

To: Alanis King

Sent from my Verizon Motorola Droid

Subject: Grid girls

To: Alanis King

Just what women need, fewer jobs.

Subject: Grid Girls

To: Alanis King

Why ditch the girls? Sponsors like them, fans like them, drivers don’t seem to mind, no one is forcing or (to our knowledge) coercing the girls; what’s the problem? In fact, they should do flashbacks & punctuate the mid-race dulldroms.

[name, redacted]

Get Outlook for Android

Subject: Your Language

To: Kristen Lee

Please do not swear. Your making the dreaded S, F words social place. That’s a bad thing.

I say you can always tell a person’s station in life by their language. Usage of the dreaded words puts one’s station in life at the gutter. Like your review though.

[name, redacted]

GALAXY DANCER

Fair Winds and Following Seas

Subject: Mustang

To: Kristen Lee

It will be a cold day in hell when i let some hot pants hot chick newsletter writer tell me about a Ford Mustangs engine horsepower and Cubic inch.

Subject: (no subject)

To: Kristen Lee

My 12 year old son has a better command of English. Take a writing course, and work on expanding that Junior High School level lexicon of yours.

Stop being lazy. Take some pride in your craft, and do whatever it takes to improve.

You’re welcome.

Subject: Kristen!

To: Kristen Lee

You’re a dumb cunt.

Sincerely, fd

[name, redacted]

“ I am also forced to look at the common folk—an event that leaves me with migraines and mild indigestion for hours afterwards.”

Dumb. Cunt.

Subject: Let’s be honest here

To: Kristen Lee

OK,

I watched a video of you, once, in the early days, identifying a car as front wheel drive when it was rear (or vice versa - my mind has since blocked that from all consciousness). Needless to say, you were dead to me.

This was not a race or gender issue. No. Far deeper than than.

And your stories were a little too off centre...too “trying to be car culture”

Then I looked past the titles and I read your words.d

And I listed to your carguments (bumper stickers are a definite no) and I had to admit that you were appropriately calibrated.

Now, reluctantly, I think I need to acknowledge that you have the spirit.

This is about me, not you. Obviously.

Come to Australia. Drive a ute. Hit a roo. Keep going. Circle work. Burn outs. Top Fuel. V8 Supercars. Driving the Great Ocean Road in whatever vehicle makes you smile.

RHD.

98 Octane.

Lamingtons.

HZ station wagon with three on the tree and bench seat.

RX4 with a mild port and lightened flywheel.

Bora V6 AWD

VU Series II Ute

Toyota 86 GTS

All proudly manual.

And please, tell me, why is there is there a small red splotch above one eye? Only one eye.

Subject: Sorry. Re: Let’s be honest here

To: Kristen Lee

Hi Kristen,

I apologise for my previous email.

I just re-read it and I acknowledge that could well have been misinterpreted.

Without wanting to detract from my apology, no offence was intended.

I’d like to blame the sarcastic sense of humour in Australia. But I can’t. Well, not fully.

Subject: ????

To: Kristen Lee

Love your stories and you are super cute keep up the good info!!!

Subject: Hi

To: Kristen Lee

Marry me.

Subject: Paul Walker’s girlfriend

To: Kristen Lee

Unless all of his dates were elementary school age, I couldn’t care less that he dated a 16 year old girl. Why would this matter to anyone. Just don’t tell me he banged little boys like the Pope and his Band of Child Molesters. Write about men who do evil and weird things to little kids and get away with it.

Subject line: (no subject)

To: Kristen Lee

Paul walker was a good guy he doesnt deserve your dragging him down in dirt first did those girls tell him they were 16 most ggirls will lie about their age just to get with a guy like paul knowing the good causes he was in volved in i would say your story is full of lies Elvis back in his day girls accully got married at 16 they were much more grown up back then 40yrs and people like you still got to drag it in the dirt these two guys were top notch look at the good they did for people and you are full of shit this is for Elvis an paul fuck off!

Subject: Paul Walker

To: Kristen Lee

Dear Kristen,

Leave our heroes alone. Ignorance is bliss and your story isn’t one. I don’t come to the Jalopnik website to read garbage like you’re writing. You women come into the car scene and then start ruining it for us guy. Jalopnik is not U.S. weekly and you clearly should work for U.S. Weekly if you write ‘stories’ like this. Leave a dead man alone! Write about spring and shock changes please and if you can’t… again, the U.S. weekly definitely has space for you and your interest in bullshit as a SJW.

Subject: Paul Walker

To: Kristen Lee

You nasty little cunt.

You contribute nothing to the world but trash blogs....nobody will ever write or discuss you......disgusting rat roach!

Long live PW

Fuck you! Cunt

Subject: Omg you’re a girl?!

To: Kristen Lee

So I’m reading a random car article longer than I usually should or do, because I was diggin the colours and car. Then I was laughing at the writing and admired the writing style. (This is a reread and I wanted to add that I was agreeing with your rationale on packages) Then to my brief bewilderment and brain expanding moment I realise that you’re a girl. And an Asian girl to boot. I don’t know who in the hell ever got so fortunate as to be yours, but that’s one blessed man.

Subject: Sequential is manual.

To: Stef Schrader

You’re wrong describing a sequential as not a manual. It’s not a H pattern it’s still a manual u twit. Ride a bike or actually track ya car ya twit.

ALERT! ALERT! Unidentified body block: {"type":"ContainerBreak"}

From: Stef Schrader

It’s markedly different than the “manual” gearbox most people refer to as a “manual.” My race car has a manual gearbox, and it’s not a big ol’ stick you yank back and forth to shift with like the sequential gearbox in car we featured today. It is, indeed an H pattern.

Be nicer!

ALERT! ALERT! Unidentified body block: {"type":"ContainerBreak"}

To: Stef Schrader

It’s still a manual. You describe it as specifically not a manual. It’s still a manual. Next I’ll have to explain dog gears to you. Your a shirty, shitty click bait blogger. I don’t have to be nice to you. Get your fucking facts straight

ALERT! ALERT! Unidentified body block: {"type":"ContainerBreak"}

From: Stef Schrader

I’m sorry, I’m not going to take writing advice from someone who can’t even spell “shitty” right.

Just kidding! Not sorry at all. A made-for-racing sequential gearbox is different than an H-pattern street-car manual transmission. I’ve driven both, thanks. I know the facts and one of them is that there are so much better ways to use your time than to call me “shirty.”

ALERT! ALERT! Unidentified body block: {"type":"ContainerBreak"}

To: Stef Schrader

I hope you die and all the people in your life ignore your funeral.

Subject: (no subject)

To: Stef Schrader

Trump is the man we have a AWESOME PRESIDENT GO TRUMP MAKE NASCAR GREATER THAN IT ALL READY IS FOR ALL YOU TRUMP HATTERS SUCK IT

Subject: Realy

To: Stef Schrader

Why are you so pissed at the world. He is our elected president. Please show some respect. I did not like our last president , but I did not bash him And gave him the respect he disserved as our elected president.

Sincerely

[name, redacted]

Subject: The idiot who wrote the anti-pickup trucks article

To: [email protected]

He/she is whining like a baby. If the author wants trucks to be regulated, he/she needs to move to another country. Freedom to have what you want, and pay for, is one of the many things that are so awesome about this country. If trucks cause the author such difficulties, that is the author’s problem. He/she needs to learn how to drive, or stay off the damned roads. Newsflash: the world does NOT revolve around any one person, and especially not you. Life may be about getting your way to you, but if you think it is, you need to grow the hell up. You are acting—and writing—like a spoiled baby who desperately needs its arse paddled. If not for these trucks, life would become more difficult for nearly everyone. Towing a broken-down car for a friend, picking up supplies for a remodel, hauling a fishing boat, and yes, even ownership of a truck as a status symbol—these are all a right of the citizens of this great country, and if trucks are just too inconvenient for your self-centered, egotistical, cry-baby arse, go suck on Putin’s dick as a pacifier. Life doesn’t revolve around you, you inconsiderate little bitch, it revolves around all people. You are not entitled to stomp on the rights of others any more than anyone else is. Grow the hell up, and think of someone other than yourself.

Thank you.

P.S.: How many times have you had to ask someone to borrow/rented/had someone help you, because you needed a truck, for one reason or another? More than once, I am very certain.

Trending Stories Right Now