So you just bought an iPhone X. It's fast, gorgeous, and everything you could ask for in an absurdly priced consumer device. There's just one problem. As good as it looks, it's way too precious for life without some kind of protection. You're going to need a case, but what kind should you get? Plastic is for peasants and leather is for murderers, so what is a responsible iPhone X owner supposed to do?
Well fear not, because a company named Roxxlyn has the perfect solution: Cover that shit up with rocks, of course. I mean think about it, what could offer up better security than the shit they make buildings and kitchen countertops out of?
On top of that, these luxurious handcrafted accessories are made in Germany, so you know they will be produced with the utmost precision. Materials range from various types of marble and slate for between $US90 ($114) and $US150 ($190), all the way up to luscious Tiger's Eye or a brilliant blue Lapis Lazuli version for around $US400 ($506).
And while that might sound like a lot when a normal case can be had for 20 bucks or less, what kind of cretin makes compromises when it comes to style? Even better: Each case weighs nearly a pound, which when combined with the weight of a standard iPhone brings you to a total weight of more than 0kg. And as everybody knows, heft is the best indicator of quality.
Now I, being the sceptical person that I am, was concerned about potential rock-on-glass interactions messing up an iPhone X. But when I asked someone named Mark about it via Roxxlyn's online chat, he told me that the inside of each cases is lined with Alcantara, the same premium fabric you see on the dashboard of supercars, or on the keyboard of Microsoft's Surface Pro and Surface Laptop. Phew, what a relief.
Before I forget, I'd be remiss to mention that because these cases are custom products, Roxxlyn can accommodate other types of phones as well. You can even choose what kind of metal band goes around the outside of the case. And if phones aren't your thing, Roxxlyn has a range of rock MacBook covers and watches for sale, too.
So next time you consider how best to protect your precious tech, skip scissor or paper and go with the best. Team Rock for life.