Arrow‘s Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak might be good at saving the world, but they’re inconsiderate arseholes when it comes to wedding etiquette.
Barry and Iris are internally screaming: “We’re too nice to say how much we hate you right now.” All Images: CW
This week’s CW DC crossover, Crisis on Earth-X, centred around the long-awaited wedding of Barry Allen and Iris West. This was a story years in the making, a major event for these two pinnacle characters in the DC TV universe. But you wouldn’t know that from how Oliver and Felicity managed to make it about themselves, while also breaking a shocking number of rules for being a decent guest at someone else’s nuptials.
You screwed up, Oliver.
Let’s start with that RSVP. Traditional etiquette says you’re supposed to RSVP two to three weeks before a wedding, so the bride and groom can get a head count for the caterer. But Oliver and Felicity didn’t RSVP until what looks to be the day before the rehearsal dinner. When Felicity asks Oliver, mid-fight, whether they’re actually going, he replies: “Of course we’re going.” Then why didn’t you RSVP beforehand, you dingus? Especially because you and your girlfriend are in the freaking wedding party?
(To be fair, the Legends didn’t RSVP until the last minute, something Martin called “a serious breach of courtesy”, and neither did Kara. But I’m gonna give them each a pass, because Kara lives in another dimension, and the Legends can just travel a month back in time and RSVP retroactively.)
The two of them are also pretty terrible during wedding preparations. While Iris and the girls are getting their nails done, Felicity makes the social faux pas of saying Iris is “glowing”, something Caitlin rightfully points out is a term saved for pregnant women. Then, when Iris asks her about her relationship with Oliver, she doesn’t do what Kara rightfully does and deflect the question (you don’t want to distract the bride with your stupid problems). Rather, she brings down everyone’s mood by getting all maudlin. She and Oliver play this stupid game of cat and mouse about whether they want to get married, something that bites everyone in the arse later on.
On the other side of town, Oliver is pulling his own crap by giving Barry horrible advice. Barry asks him what he should do about his wedding vows, since they’re a million pages long. Instead of helping Barry pare down his notes to the best moments and lines, Oliver tells him to wing it, adding that if he just has silence that will be fine too. No, it won’t be, Oliver. That isn’t how vows work. However, none of that compares to the awfulness that is to come.
The number one rule of wedding etiquette: Don’t propose to your partner at someone else’s wedding.
Iris is off to the side going “What the hell, guys?”
Oliver and Felicity break this rule – not once, but twice. First, Oliver pops the question to Felicity during the rehearsal dinner. Granted, it wasn’t a public proposal (at least at first) so it wasn’t taking focus from the bride and groom, but it’s really, really bad form to use a wedding as a proposal venue. It puts pressure on your partner to accept something they may not be comfortable with, or forces them to reject you during a romantic wedding – something that actually happens the first time around. Felicity repeatedly rejects Oliver, then flat-out screams “I don’t want to marry you!” in full view of everyone.
Then, at the end of the crossover, Barry and Iris decide to get married last-minute (next to a pile of Diggle’s vomit), with Oliver and Felicity serving as the witnesses. It’s a beautiful scene… until it’s ruined by the worst people on the planet. Moments before Barry and Iris are pronounced husband and wife, solidifying their relationship in the eyes of God and man, Felicity interrupts the ceremony to demand she and Oliver also get married. Not later. Right then. Oliver accepts, and now Barry and Iris have to share their big moment with these two eggheads (who will do it all again with their own wedding in the midseason finale). Oliver adds a joke about how they can’t compete with Barry and Iris’ vows, only to then go into his own vows because “Fuck you, Barry.”
(It also should be added that Felicity and Barry briefly dated before Felicity got with Oliver. That means Felicity not only interrupted her and Oliver’s best friends’ wedding, it was also her ex’s wedding.)
“I hereby throw my hands in the air, because nothing matters.”
These people are seriously the worst. A wedding that was one of the most-anticipated events of the year for DC CW-verse fans was ruined by Oliver and Felicity. They chose to selfishly interrupt their friends on one of the most important days of their lives with their own dramatic garbage, over and over and over again, culminating in them stealing the spotlight for a marriage brought under duress. Screw you guys. I hope you don’t get any presents.