Nothing But Satan Himself Could Explain This European Heat Wave Named 'Lucifer'

A devastating heat wave surging through southern Europe has earned the unofficial moniker of "Lucifer," according to several news reports over the weekend. Things over there do seem pretty bad, real bad, bad enough there that the only logical conclusion is Satan danced down there himself, possibly with a fiddle, and played a song which cursed the very winds themselves with the tunes of brimstone and ruin after somebody lost a bet.

Photo: AP

At least two people died over the course of the heat wave, which caused temperatures to spike as high as 44 degrees Celsius (111 degrees Fahrenheit) in southern Spain and 40 in the French Riviera, per the New York Times. Temperatures were forecast as high as slightly over 42 in mainland Greece.

According to Agence France-Presse, local conditions in Italy's Campania region caused temperatures to feel much higher, around 55 Celsius (131 Farenheit).

Surging electrical demand in Poland caused the government to warn of "possible infrastructure failures" and disperse staff early. Train tracks in southern Serbia warped, the Romanian government urged Bucharest residents to stay indoors and an Italian drought which has already cost over $US1 billion dragged on. Per Reuters, the Italian grape harvest started weeks early, with Slow Food movement leader Carlo Petrini telling La Stampa he had never heard of it ever starting before August 15.

Reuters also reported 300 firefighters and troops "struggled to contain as many as 75 forest fires," with wildfires raging in Serbia, Bosnia, Macedonia and Croatia.

While the Times reported two deaths, AFP reported as many as five, with hospital admissions in Italy running 15-20% "above seasonal norms."

It's almost enough to make one wonder if this heat wave could be correlated with all those other heat waves across the world, or the inexplicable trend of the planet breaking global heat records on a regular basis. Maybe there's some kind of thing that we, humans, are pumping into the atmosphere that causes it to retain more heat, perhaps making said events more likely.

Hmm. But since no such theory, perhaps of so-called global climate "change," has been devised or vetted by the vast majority of climate scientists, we're just going to have to hand it to the devil on this one and guess the thing we are pumping into the atmosphere is sin.

Curse you, Lucifer!

[New York Times]

WATCH MORE: Science & Health News


Comments

    Lucifer doesn't actually force anyone to choose evil. He offers and we accept. So Lucifer may have devised a plan to destroy the Earth for humans via climate change but it can only be humans who put the plan into effect.

    Lucifer is a social construct of the human mind trying to make sense of things which inherently have no sense due to the random nature of the universe.

    As for the heat wave, that's a construct of human activities on the planet causing a global rise in temperature. While not a direct affect from this, but a byproduct thereof. That is, as climate change continues, so will odd weather patterns in places where they normally do not occur.

    Humanity == Lucifer
    :D

Join the discussion!

Trending Stories Right Now