Disney announced this morning that it’s (eventually) going to pull all its content from Netflix, to start a Disney-only streaming service.
There are currently 2681 movies in Australia’s Netflix library. Searching for ‘Disney’ leaves you with 53. We ranked every single one of them.
Without further ado…
53. Air Buddies: Air Bud is all about a dog that can play sports. Air Buddies is not related to sports. It’s the worst of them.
49-52. The Other 4 Air Bud Movies: I am all in for a dog that plays basketball but you start getting a little long in the canines when you have Air Bud: World Pup, Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch, Air Bud: Golden Receiver and Air Bud: Spikes Back. I don’t care how good those puns are, these are Air Bud‘s worst offerings. Don’t @ me.
48. StarStruck: I feel bad that this is in front of any Air Bud film, now that I think about it.
47. Mickey’s Once Upon A Christmas: It exists, because of course it does.
46. Mickey’s Twice Upon A Christmas: Okay, I don’t know how this exists.
45. Oz, The Great and Powerful: A James Franco vehicle that is like a prequel to the Wizard of Oz. Your mind is already made up, isn’t it?
44. Sky High: It’s about a school for superheroes. Michael Giacchino did the soundtrack.
43. Wizards of Waverly Place, The Movie: Good for the Disney Channel crowd, and that’s about all.
42. Chicken Little: One of the worst poultry-based films that you exists. Watch Chicken Run instead.
41. Blank Check: A boy that nearly gets run over gets a blank check and cashes it for a million dollars. Shenanigans ensue.
40. Secret of the Wings: This is a Tinkerbell film, so take from that what you will. I’m sure my niece loves it.
39. Tinkerbell and the Lost Treasure: This is a Tinkerbell film, so take from that what you will. I’m sure my niece loves it.
38. John Carter: I desperately wanted this movie to be good and this movie was not that good. Such promise.
37. Geek Charming: A Disney channel movie based on a novel about the most popular girl in school and a boy that makes a documentary about her. Shenanigans ensue.
36. Atlantis: The Lost Empire: looks beautiful (for 2001), but didn’t have that same Disney spark that a lot of its previous animated features did.
35. Hocus Pocus: Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad but has developed a cult following. Not as good as The Craft, of course.
34. Alice: Through the Looking Glass: nobody asked for this.
33. The Game Plan: Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson before Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson became Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson playing a role of a footballer, something that Dwayne ‘The Rock Johnson’ did in college.
32. Meet the Robinsons: Slightly overrated but enjoyable animated sci-fi flick.
31. G-Force: The G stands for Guinea Pig. It’s an actual film about a crack team of trained Guinea Pigs. No it’s not based on a true story. Why would you ask?
30. Finest Hours: An incredible story, an average movie.
29. Old Dogs: Some of John Travolta and Robin Williams’ worst work. Sadly it’s also Bernie Mac’s last film before he passed in 2008.
28. The Princess Diaries: Some people will probably kill me for having The Princess Diaries so low.
27. Walt Before Mickey: a dive into Walt Disney’s earlier years that doesn’t have a lot of star power, but is a neat look at the legend.
26. The Good Dinosaur: One of Pixar’s few missteps that tells the story about a boy and his dinosaur. It still looks so fantastic that it’s worth sitting down for. Also, the hallucinogenics scene.
25. The Pacifier: Vin Diesel not doing Vin Diesel things is generally a bad time.
24. Flubber: Robin Williams doing Robin Williams things is generally a good time.
23. BFG: One of Roald Dahl’s best novels gets the live-action/CGI treatment and it works. WETA workshop did a lot of special effects and the BFG is absolutely excellent.
22. Floyd Norman: An Animated Life: Genuinely well put-together documentary about Disney animator Floyd Norman who worked on films such as 101 Dalmations and The Jungle Book.
21. Bolt: Small dog, cute dog, super dog. Honestly, a little underrated.
20. Freaky Friday: Lindsay Lohan becomes Jamie Lee Curtis and Jamie Lee Curtis becomes Lindsay Lohan. There’s laughs to be had.
19. Pete’s Dragon: The live-action one. Just a heart-warming romp about a boy and a dragon.
18. Finding Dory: Baby Dory is the cutest thing that has ever been put on screen. Ever.
17. Queen of Katwe: Slipped under the radar but a powerful tale of a Ugandan girl who becomes one of the best chess players in the world.
16. The Jungle Book: The live-action one. Huge names and great CGI make this an exceedingly good live-action remake.
15. Doctor Strange: Sherlock Holmes is the Doctor in one of the more unusual Marvel properties. A good blockbuster flick, though an unusual one. Tilda Swinton owns.
14. Holes: Shia LeBouf before he became Shia LeBouf puts in a stellar performance in this book-to-film adaptation of a novel that featured in many Australian schoolkids’ curriculums.
13. Monsters University: The sequel is never as good as the original.
12. The Parent Trap: At the peak of her Disney powers, Lindsay Lohan and Lindsay Lohan stars as twin sisters that try and get their divorced parents back together. One of Lohan’s best, truly.
11. Nightmare Before Christmas: I still don’t know if this is a kids film, but it’s filled with songs I just want to sing.
10. Pocahontas: Can you paint with all the colours of … the … wiiiiiiiind?
9. A Bug’s Life: Pixar makes you feel things about ants and grasshoppers, which is so typically Pixar.
8. Tangled: Disney’s take on Rapunzel started them on the right track with 3D animation and although not as good as Frozen, it’s definitely in their best.
7. Captain America: Civil War: The third Captain America is the best Captain America.
6. Star Wars: The Force Awakens: Not the worst Star Wars film, and I definitely cried in the opening credits, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s just a good movie, not an exceptional one.
5. Ratatouille: Underrated. Definitely not discussed enough when talking about Pixar’s best films.
4. Zootopia: Continued Walt Disney Animation Studios run of success with 3D animated features and surprised me, to be honest, with its message.
3. Finding Nemo: Brilliant from start to finish, Ellen DeGeneres’ turn as Dory is burnt into the minds of children and adults alike.
2. Aladdin: Part of the Disney Renaissance in the 1990’s and just a real, solid film. Robin Williams is beyond brilliant as the Genie.
1. The Incredibles: Iconic. The best movie that Pixar has ever made and absolutely the best movie under the Disney banner on Netflix. Put on your super suit and go watch it now.
Disclaimer: Jackson also works for the Walt Disney Company Australia as a TV show host.