For those that came in late, here’s the lowdown on one of Silicon Valley’s stupidest innovations to date. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll never look at juice the same again.
One Year Ago: Juicero Launches Its $900 Juice-In-A-Bag Squeezer
A juicer. But not any normal juicer. No, this doesn’t juice fruit. It juices bags of fruit that have already been juiced. By, um, squeezing them a bit.
Two Weeks Later: We Question The Wisdom Of The Whole Thing
This is how you disrupt juice, ladies and gentlemen. Except, in reality, the story of Juicero’s rise is the story of everything wrong with pointless Silicon Valley startups.
A Week Ago: Turns Out That Your Hands Actually Do A Better Job
At this point, the Juicero costs $US400 — about $550 — but that doesn’t change the fact that good ol’ fashioned hard work is free but for the sweat of your brow.
Remember Juicero? It was the darling of glass-eyed Silicon Valley investors just a year ago. But it turns out the the $US400 ($534) juice-making gadget is very literally useless. You can actually just buy the juice packets and squeeze the goods into your glass with your bare hands, no gadget required.Read more
The Present Day: Big Juice Is In Damage Control Over, Y’know, Pulp
Citizen, place the bag into the Juicero. Do not attempt to squeeze the bag. Do not cut the bag. Stay away from the bag. Do not make eye contact with the bag.