After a series of closed-door meetings, rejected promises, and thinly veiled threats from President Donald Trump, Republicans finally pulled the American Health Care Act before taking a vote on Friday. This was met with laughter by many, and a few tears by others. But the best reaction came from #GOPDnD, which ended up having the Dungeons & Dragons game of their lives.
Getty Images (modified, obviously)
The #GOPDnD hashtag game sprung up on Twitter over the past couple of weeks. Some people attribute the campaign origins to Patton Oswalt’s 2015 tweet about turning 2016’s presidential candidates into D&D characters, but the hashtag itself is linked to James D’Amato from One Shot Podcast.
Lately, it’s been used in response to Republican attempts to squeeze Trumpcare through the House of Representatives in less than a month. As House Speaker Paul Ryan’s bill rose in infamy, making enemies across the aisle and struggling to evade a tragic CBO score, a shitty Dungeons & Dragons game served as the perfect metaphor for the debacle.
DM: 8 yrs you've complained, so you're the DM now.
*90 days later*
GOPDM: What's "initiative" mean?
old DM: *sigh*#GOPDnD
— 7th Continental Airport Brigade (@DangerCormick) March 23, 2017
GOP: The healing potion is 5,000 gold pieces.
PC: But we don't have that much gold.
GOP: No, but you have ACCESS to health potions.#GOPDnD
— Vore Gerbinski (@SClayton891) March 20, 2017
DM: City is under attack from flying enemies to the East
GOP: I cast "Great Wall" to the South
DM: But that's not
GOP: "GREAT WALL!"#GOPDnD
— Peter A. Pena (@strugglingawake) March 23, 2017
However, it wasn’t until Ryan sadly addressed his constituents on Friday afternoon, confirming they were dropping the bill they’d reportedly spent at least seven years working on, that things were really taken up a notch. The game became epic, a legendary tale of terrible people playing a game that they didn’t know how to win. No wonder Ryan said it’s easier to be the opposition party than to govern. They have forgotten how to play nice with others.
GOP: I cast 'Repeal Obamacare.'
(rolls natural 1)
GM: Suffer 392 morale damage.
GOP: I evade, cast 'Blame the Democrats.'
— Calvin Wong Tze Loon 黃子倫 ???????? (@ithayla) March 25, 2017
GOP: I cast Repeal at ACA.
DM: For that 50th time, you have to wait until the barrier falls.
GOP: I forfeit my turn.#GOPDnD
— ???????????? ℍ???????????????????????? ???????? ℂ???????????????? ℙ???????????????????????? (@thocpodcast) March 25, 2017
PC:I cast fireball! It'll be huge, biggest ever!
DM:You're 1st lvl you can't cast fireball.
PC:I never said I was casting fireball.#GOPDnD
— Quinten, Former Pony Ride Carny (@Quinten_Lee) March 25, 2017
The Grand Ol’ Magic Party is still going on Twitter, so it’s definitely worth joining in on the fun for a bit — especially since SUE the T-Rex already ended her D&D game a little while ago. If anything else, this whole thing goes to show you can always find a bright side to the ugliness of politics. Republicans might’ve failed (this time) to take health insurance away from up to 24-million people… but hey, at least they can still cast Benghazi. That spell still works, right?
GOP: I cast Benghazi.
DM: *sigh* She makes the saving throw. Again.
GOP: I cast Benghazi.#GOPDnD
— jrizz, his eyes uncovered (@NYNeoJoey) March 24, 2017