Your True Stories Of The Stupidest Things You've Ever Done In Cars

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I don't know what it is — maybe a lethal combination of young teenage blood and some notion that no one can see you when you're in you car — that makes us commit at least one dumbass act in our cars at some point.

This one time, I was driving the family Lexus RX 330 by myself on the highway right after I had gotten my licence. I was lost, trying to find an exit, and then, too late, I realised that the exit lane I was looking for had suddenly been separated from the rest of the lanes by a concrete curb divider. I panicked and changed lanes anyway, driving right over the curb at highway speed. It made a terrible noise and felt like I had crashed. The next opportunity I had, I stopped and checked to see if everything was ok and, thankfully, things seemed fine. I drove home and told nobody about it until now. Sorry, Mum.

Also, we once tied a sled to the back of a Volvo 240 wagon after a heavy snow storm and did doughnuts in an unplowed parking lot. A cop came over and screamed at us.

Now, let's take a look at the stuff you guys did.

Beheaded (arar-)

Almost. Also, what is this username?

This is silly, but I was a kid and kids do try/experiment stupid stuff. One day I decided to put my head through my dad’s Nissan Terrano II rear window and raise the window while my head was out of it to see what happens, he was inside the house and no one was around me. I almost killed my self and almost crushed my throat that night, needless to say I’ve never thought of repeating it again.

Username Relevant (subaruined)

You buy a Subaru for life.

For the record these were all done in my 2002 Subaru Outback. Poor thing still runs great.

1. Got one of my friends to stand out my sunroof at 60 MPH.

2. Tied a shopping cart to my trailer hitch and gave people rides (it was so cold and we were going fast enough that my roommate had burns on his hands).

3. Drove 2 & 1/2 hours with seized front brakes. I had to dump the clutch to get the car going. The smell was horrific.

4. Attempted to drive the car through a 3 foot deep puddle. Ended up frying the ECU and a couple sensors in the engine bay.

5. Various Ken Block/Gymkhana attempts.

This One Time, During Senior Year (Southwest Nomad)

There's a pattern here.

Where to start.....

Senior year of high school - tethered my buddy and younger brother to the luggage rack on the roof of my parent’s ‘92 Explorer so they could stand up and moon a passing Amtrak train that we kept pace with down a frontage road.

Senior year of high school - Stuffed 20 fellow students into that same Explorer after a parade to get them back to the starting lot and to their cars rather than have them walk for a couple of miles in high heat.

Senior year of high school - Took an ‘89 Camry with five-speed up to an estimated 135 mph on I70 coming down the Alamogordo side of the San Augustine pass near White Sands Missile Range with my friend (who owned the car) in the passenger seat marking off the mile markers and timing to get the speed.

Senior year of high school - Sat in the bed of a friend’s Toyota T-100 unsecured with another friend while the truck’s owner did a series of high-speed fishtailing maneuvers around the trees that were spaced out just perfectly in our high school’s side lot.

Senior year of high school (see a pattern?) - Running from the police with that same friend in a ‘98 New Beetle TDI through a suburb in development and hiding in the garage of an empty home for sale.

Yea, somehow I see it as a miracle I lived to see graduation

Sad Jeep (sneckles)

Sad day.

So with less than 2,000 miles on my brand new jeep I did this....

which for some reason led me to believe I should spend a miata’s worth of cash modifying it to do things like this

I loved jeeping, but god it was dumb. so much money down the drain. next time, I’ll stick to call of duty

Terrifying (Jcarr)

Although, this sounds hilarious.

In high school, a handful of us would occasionally put on various halloween masks and drive the popular stretches in our town of about 35,000 on weekend nights. We—for reasons I’ve never fully understood—called it “cock driving”.

The most enjoyable part was coming up next to other cars at red lights. We would all look straight ahead, and one of use would do a three count. On three, we’d all slowly turn our heads in the same direction to see if we could freak out the people in the car next to us.

It’s a miracle that we didn’t get pulled over or shot.

Bad Habit (ExtraDas)

That's why you have an ashtray!

Late 90s.

Golf GTI, MKII

I’m living in Germany and I’m still a smoker.

Flick cigarette out of the window in traffic, doing maybe 45 - 50 mph. Solid traffic. Butt hovers in the air and flies back into the car and lands someplace in the back. I have nowhere to pull over for a couple kilometers so I’m frantically reaching and glancing in the back to see where it was while trying not to slam into someone around me. I fail at finding it.

By the time I pull over, there is a tennis ball sized burn and hole in the rear driver side seat.

The dumb part? I didn’t quit smoking or smoking & driving for another 10-15 years.

Nakey (Vee)

"Wadoodler."

Drive naked. No shit. Went to a pool party, everyone decides to leave at around three in the morning. I, being my stupid self, didn’t bring a towel and only came in my swimming trunks. And so not wanting to get my cloth seats wet, I strip behind my door and stuff all of my wet clothes into a plastic bag, which is then stuffed into my duffel bag.

On the way home it gets really foggy. Here I am, naked, wet, window down to try and dry off, and then the fog rolls in. I flip on my high beams. Big mistake. Coming over the top of the hill just as I turned on my high beams was a Sheriff. He turns around, blips the lights, and pulls me over. I pull my duffle bag over my wadoodler and he rolls up, asking me why I tried blinding him. He then asks why I’m acting suspicious. And then he notices I’m naked. I explain what’s going on, and he’s trying not to smile the entire time. Finally he lets me go with a warning after explaining he thought I was a drunk driver. That night I made a mental note to myself to always keep a beach towel under the back seat. I still keep one there.

Look, Don't Touch (panthercougar)

Poor buddy.

This didn’t happen to me, but an old buddy of mine. He decided to reach out the passenger window and tap a construction barrel while the car was going 25-30 mph. Dude did not realize how solid the barrels are. It snapped his hand back resulting in a broken wrist. His upper arm also slid along the top of the door and the lock cut into it requiring stitches. Whoops.

Don't Let Go (DylanM)

Inside riding now.

3 stories of hanging on, in order.

1. Using my shoes against ice and sliding behind my grandmas truck (unknown to her) down the street. Held on like a boss and got off when I was satisfied.

2. Using a beyond cheap snowboard and riding behind my brothers old corolla based nova. I used the license plate light housings to hold on. Fell off at 10-15mph.

3. Rode a skateboard behind a gen 2 rx7. Thank god this car had a wing as I was hanging on at 35 mph on a bumpy road and had all my weight on the car. The skateboard was bouncing off the road and staying beneath my feet from this alone. I used my tubing experience to signal them to stop (ran my finger across my neck) but they just went until the road ended at a T-intersection. Held on the whole way by strangling a poor gen 2 rx7s spoiler and putting most of my weight on the hatch.

Those all happened in order and I only ride inside of cars after the rx7 moment.

Questions (DonVanSin)

I laughed so hard at these.

Anybody else ride on the roof of a Z28 with your legs locked around the T-bar?

How about using the flipped up headlights of an MR2 as stirrups while banging the GF?

Anyone else run from the cops successfully in a Corvair?

Did you ever paint your car flat black only to have friends with chalk draw really graphically depraved images on it. Did you then drive it slowly through campus?

Anyone else lose a Volkswagen in a river while washing it?

Did any of you ever build a car’s body out of cloth and then drive the damn thing in traffic?

Have you ever fully appreciated a tilt steering wheel b/c it gave your GF more headroom?

So... just me?

Hi, Collin (Collin Woodard)

Hi, Collin.

Decided to hop on the trunk of a friend’s car to get a ride across the parking lot.

And that’s the story of how I ended up in the hospital with a fractured skull and a bleeding brain.

But more than 10 years later, I’m fine-ish. I think.

Kidnap (Rickster3rd ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Yes, don't do this.

Back when I-95 through central VA had toll booths my friends and I were riding to Richmond in my car (1978 Oldsmobile 98 Regency coupe). We had already been through two of the 50 cent money machines when we came to the third and final one on our journey. My friend, let’s call him Timmy, decided as a prank he would lay in the rear floor with his hands behind his back and stuff a rag in his mouth as we approached the toll booth associate. As I paid he began to loudly grunt through the rag. After paying we pulled of like everything was everything. After about 3 or 4 minutes I noticed a state trooper in the mirror coming up fast. As I was not speeding I pulled into the adjacent lane to let him pass.

He also moved in right behind lights flashing as a second police car passed and got directly in front of me. We were ordered to the side of 95 and forced to exit via loudspeaker which we did expeditiously. We were instructed to the rear of the car with hands on our heads while the trooper in the car in front stood just beside his car with his hand on his (un-drawn) weapon. The trooper who was at the rear approached after we were secure and started asking questions about the incident at the toll plaza.

We told him it was a prank and that “Timmy” had thought it would be funny to act like he was being kidnapped. We were detained on the side of the road for approximately 2 hours while my car was searched and the toll operator was retrieved to make a positive ID. Once they realized we were stupid kids we were given a lecture and a stern warning about the dangers of pranks and released to go. Needless to say the rest of the day was spent flicking “Timmy’s” ear every chance we got for being an (insert expletive here) and almost getting us arrested. This was the late 80's and I image today we would have been shot.

Party Trick (Licence Plate 1I1-III1)

Just don't let go.

In the greys and late to the party but I’ll give this a shot.

A friend of mine in high school was in a limo with a few other people. Decided it would be a great idea to climb out of the window, over the roof of the car, and back in the other side. While doing at least 40. It worked, and it became something of a party trick of his.

Same guy was a passenger on a toll road highway. Stopped at a rest stop and got a bunch of those little bouncy balls, then proceeded to throw them at other cars’ windshields (I know, I know, and no, I wasn’t there for this). There were thankfully no incidents but I’ve taken that toll road a bunch of times since and they no longer sell those bouncy balls in the rest stops.

Car Tag (2014Challenger)

Points awarded for an audible tap.

In high school my buddy and I used to play a game we called car tag. Car tag was a game of tag, played from the driver seat of a car. You had to get close enough to the other car to hit it loudly enough that the other person would hear it. Minimum speed was 45 mph.

Another time, a different buddy and I were leaving work late and got on the highway when I realized he had my only cigarette lighter. Doing 80 mph he held the lighter out as far across the passenger seat as he could and I got close enough to reach into his car and grab it. At 1 am. On a highway with no lighting. At 80 mph.

Smart Change Of Clothes (Miss Mercedes ❤ Boeing 727 Fangirl)

"Have yourself a nice night sir, erm, ma'am, uhhhh...damn."

Ah hell, I’ll jump in. So as some folks here and on Oppositelock know, I’m Trans.

So, in the interim between me coming out to my friends and my parents, I changed clothes in my car (a smart). Such an endeavour required quite a bit of gymnastics, and with the car being so tiny, it was kinda hard to do it in a populated area without spooking people.

So my solution? Change clothes on the other end of a half full parking lot! There’s enough cars there not to raise suspicion and I would be far enough away that nobody would actually see me change! Win Win, right?

Well...One night I was doing my business, and right when I finished and was about to start my car, police lights! Crap.

Officer walks up and I roll down my window. He shines his flashlight into the car, revealing a large pile of guy clothes, a really large box in my boot, and me, all dolled up for a night out. I think there was also a spare wig in visible in his eyesight too.

He got very suspicious and asked me what I’m doing. He said I pulled into the parking lot 45 minutes ago and just sat there. (Damn, he was there the whole time???) I told him the truth about me changing clothes. Now mind you, this was 2014, so trans folk were still invisible to the general public.

Almost panicking now, he asks for my docs. He looks at the license, then back at me, back at the license, back at me, back at the license, back at me. He understands now...The officer shakily said “oh crap I’m sorry! Have yourself a nice night sir, erm, ma’am, uhhhh...damn.”

Then he slowly backed away from my car, got into his cruiser, then got out of the parking lot like he was being chased by a ghost!

I Can Hear The Road (OracleAnne)

Who needs lights?

Most places with an adjacent river have a “River Road” but the one outside our hometown was pretty crazy. It was a twisty barely-two-lane that followed the river bank, that in some places, was bordered by an 8 to 12 foot drop directly into the water. It was heavily wooded on the other side.

So what did we do? We ghost drove it. Shut off the lights, and hope your eyes adjust before the next turn, and that no one was coming the other way. Then we tried racing on it. We, miraculously, didn’t kill anyone or anything but one unfortunate opossum, but I for sure wouldn’t do it again.

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