You know that great line from Party Down? “I’m into hard sci-fi. Fantasy is bullshit.” That’s me.
Well, that’s me for the most part. There’s nothing quite like kicking back on a cold weekend, closing your curtains and suspending disbelief for hours at a time. And to really escape, you need a cocktail that mixes the best of fantasy with the worst of sci-fi. You know the genre I’m talking about. I’m talking about sci-fi movies that are so bad, so ridiculous and so unbelievable that they’re amazing. Check out a baker’s dozen of my favourites.
1) Starship Troopers
Space bugs, brain bugs, Denise Richards, Doogie Howser — this movie’s got it all. It’s weird how everyone from Argentina speaks perfect English, and it’s more weird how bugs poop lasers. But Starship Troopers is a great movie.
2) The Fifth Element
This is an excellent movie, in my opinion. It is also cheesy as hell if you step back and consider the premise of Korben Dallas saving the universe by way of an orange-haired superwoman with really great outfits. It’s Luc Besson at his best and worst. In my opinion.
3) Event Horizon
So some astronauts go looking for a lost ship with a gravity drive that generated an artificial black hole and discover that it has literally gone to hell and back. Sign me up.
4) Hollow Man
Kevin Bacon figures out how to make living organisms invisible. Of course he goes crazy and spies on his sexy neighbour and kills his friends and eventually destroys his life’s work. Wait, was that a spoiler?
5) AI Artificial Intelligence
Stanley Kubrick started making this movie, died, and then Steven Spielberg took over. The final result is pretty much what you’d expect from this absurd juxtaposition of filmmaking prowess. Plus, Jude Law plays a robot gigolo.
6) Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
Haters gonna hate.
7) Judge Dredd
Sylvester Stallone is at his very best when he plays a future cop.
8) Mission to Mars
A decade and a half before The Martian, there was Mission to Mars. Unlike the Matt Damon blockbuster, this movie features a killer twist that would make even M Night Shyamalan shit his pants.
9) Bicentennial Man
The greatest tragedy is that Robin Williams wasn’t alive to make more movies. This is not his best. But boy, it’s fun to watch.
10) Demolition Man
See the above comment about Sylvester Stallone as future cop. Also, the three shells.
11) Source Code
Did you know that David Bowie’s son is a director? Indeed, Duncan Jones is a director who’s made a couple curious sci-fi films, including Source Code and Moon. The latter is pretty good. The former is terrifically terrible.
This Scarlett Johansson super drug movie is also Luc Besson at his best and worst — emphasis on worst. It’s fun to watch until you get the end and wonder what the hell anyone involved in this project was thinking.
13) Blade Runner
LOL just kidding! Blade Runner isn’t terrible at all. Blade Runner is the greatest movie ever made, and you should watch it right now.