If you’re attending this year’s SXSW, you can get tattooed by Harley Quinn…. or at least her marketing team. There’s some kind of “Harley’s Tattoo Parlor” event being set up to promote the Suicide Squad movie; we don’t know if it’s offering real tattoos or temporary ones, but I do know that it’s given each of the film’s cast members their own tattoo design — and some of them are actually pretty awesome.
Not all of them, mind you, but a lot! So here they are, ranked from the best to worst.
1) Katana
Holy crap, this is just a great tattoo. I’d get this tattoo. Katana’s mask looks less silly and more badass as an art design than it does on her actual face, and the Japanese elements are both tasteful and cool. The red on the swords is an extra-nice touch.
2) Diablo
Tattoos of skulls are always a safe bet, style-wise, which is why a lot of these Suicide Squad tats will feature them. The best is absolutely Diablo’s design, which incorporates horns, flames, and weapons. Nothing wrong with any of that. Also, a tattoo of a skull with a scythe tattooed on its forehead? That’s some next level thinking right there.
3) Harley Quinn
Simple and classy, much unlike Harley Quinn herself. Admittedly, it’s an esoteric combination of items — a heart, a gun, a bat — that doesn’t make much sense together unless you’re already aware of her character and proclivities from the film, which is problematic. But artistically, it’s still very well designed, and “ROTTEN” is a fantastically descriptive word to permanently etch on your body.
4) Killer Croc
Killer Croc’s look in the movie is pretty mediocre — he looks like a guy with alien make-up on, and not the terrifying monster Batman faces off with — so it’s nice he’s gotten such a classy, kickass tattoo. This also looks like something that would be offered in a real tattoo parlor already, and the “KILLER” banner is perfectly paired with the croc head. This tattoo would look awesome on anybody — except for Killer Croc, ironically. Crocodile men cannot get crocodile tattoos without looking like crocodile arseholes.
5) Joker
This tattoo also legitimately looks like it could be — and possibly is — already offered in tattoo parlors around the country, even more than Croc’s. The skull-and-jester theme is ubiquitous in the tattoo world, mainly because of the Insane Clown Posse, which knocks this down a few pegs. If you can get over its inherent Juggalo-ness, the “Joker-ness”, if you will, is tastefully limited to a peek of a card, a larger-than-normal mouth on the skull, and a few HAs. It’s more subtle than I expected for the Joker, and I appreciate it.
6) Captain Boomerang
On the other hand, there is nothing subtle about this tattoo that is subtle, and I love it. I love that it’s of a fist holding a boomerang, I love that it has a second boomerang on the bottom, and I love that it literally says “BOOMERANG” up top, just in case you didn’t get it. While Killer Croc with a croc tattoo would be like a band wearing its own t-shirt to the concert, if Captain Boomerang had this tattoo it would be amazing, because it would simply proclaim his incredible love of boomerangs without the slightest concern of what anybody else thought. Also, it’s aesthetically pleasing, design-wise, and that ain’t bad.
7) Slipknot
While Slipknot’s tattoo is also pleasingly symmetrical, it’s really just a pile of weapons. It’s kinda cool, but it doesn’t have any real personality to it. All it says is “I am a guy who likes committing violence.” You know who also likes committing violence? Everybody else on the Suicide Squad, that’s who.
8) Enchantress
It’s a damn shame this tattoo has “ENCHANTRESS” splayed across the botoom, because without it — or another, more enigmatic word or phrase there, like “MAGIC IS REAL” — it would be good. The occult design is cool, although overall it still seems a bit too large and too busy. But getting the name of a character on you is a huge no-no. Imagine anyone’s awesome Batman tattoo, and now think of how terrible it would instantly be if the words “BATMAN” were right below it. See what I mean?
9) Deadshot
Deadshot’s mask is boring. As hell. It’s also not a particularly iconic image, which means folks unfamiliar with the comics character may think you’re an aficionado of gun-toting hockey goalies. Tragically, if the mask had been replaced with a large skull but kept everything else, including the bullseye, the bullet holes and especially Deadshot’s eye-targeting thingie, it would probably be in the top three.
10) Rick Flag
The only thing worse than getting your own name tattooed on you? Getting your job title. If you’re a librarian you don’t get a tattoo that explicitly says “librarian,” if you’re a CEO you don’t get “CEO,” and whether you’re a private first-class or a four-star general, you don’t get your rank tattooed on yourself either. That’s something only terrible people with crippling self-doubt issues who need their importance permanently embellished on their skin to reassure themselves and “prove” to everyone else they’re a big deal would do. Because you know why? If you ever get a different job (or rank) you look like an idiot. This thing might as well read “ARSEHOLE” because that’s just as accurate.