I Want To Buy Keurig’s New Soda-Dispensing Machine (Unfortunately)

I Want To Buy Keurig’s New Soda-Dispensing Machine (Unfortunately)

Keurig, the company that stole all your money with its annoyingly convenient coffee machines, has just announced a machine that might do the same thing for soda.

The $US370 Keurig Kold is exactly like Keurig’s coffee machines, except for carbonated drinks: fill it with room-temperature water, pop in a capsule, and it spits out a perfectly chilled, perfectly fizzy soda. Unlike Sodastream, there’s no CO2 canister required, and thanks to partnerships with Coke and Dr Pepper, you can make legit Coca-Cola at home.

Keurig has apparently spent years developing the machine, which is meant to turn around the company’s fortunes, following DRM-enabled coffee). The real magic is in the pods — to avoid the need for a CO2 canister, the pods contain both the flavour syrup, and ‘carbonation beads’ that provide the bubbles. All told, the entire process, including chilling the water to 44 degrees, takes around a minute.

In terms of available drinks, you’ve got Coke in all its different varieties, Sprite, Fanta, Dr Pepper, Canada Dry, and some home-brew Keurig generic brands. There’s also a promise to include cocktail mixers, which adds another neat dimension.

The catch, of course, is the price: $US370 upfront for the machine, which is bad, but not as bad as the pods: Around $US4-5 for a four-pack of pods; each pod can do one single 8-ounce serving. Given you can get a 12-pack of Coke for $US5 online, that’s a big premium for saving just a little fridge space.

Despite the awful price, I can still see the appeal of the Kold, and I have this sinking feeling I’m going to end up buying one. Drinking sugar water from a gigantic, secretive corporation is bad; buying a $US370 machine and an endless supply of $US5-a-box capsules, just so I don’t have to remember to refrigerate my cans, is downright slothful. But I’m probably going to do it anyway.

The Keurig Kold is on sale online around the US now, with a full retail rollout expected by the holidays.