RIP, Time Cube

Time Cube is no more. The internet's most interesting website has disappeared, and it's a genuinely sad day around the world -- or is that four sad days simultaneously?

Time Cube is was the brainchild of Gene Ray, the Greatest Philosopher and Greatest Mathematician -- whose personal website, The Wisest Human, has also lapsed.

If you believe Ray, all of modern physics is wrong, and Earth experiences four days simultaneously, like the four corners of a cube. (A time cube, if you will.) Greenwich time is a lie, and all your education is a lie and has made you stupid.

Hey stupid - are you too dumb to know there are 4 different simultaneous 24 hour days within a single rotation of Earth? Greenwich 1 day is a lie.     4 quadrants = 4 corners, and 4 different directions. Each Earth corner rotates own separate 24 hour day. Infinite days is stupidity.

Wikipedia puts it best: "...Academia has mostly ignored Ray's claims." Even with its questionable science put to one side, the Time Cube website was a fascinating artefact of an earlier and simpler time on the 'net, a time before cascading style sheets and, y'know, design.

The page is one massive run-on sentence of rambling theory and continual unique tangents, all in those reds and blues and underlined, italicised, bolded Times New Roman that made the early Web great.

Whether it's a work of mental illness, of genuine long-troll parody, or an uncontained and unrecognised genius, Time Cube has been a mainstay of the internet since 1997 and it will be missed. (Don't understand anything I've said so far? That's OK. Just go read it.)

Here's a small sample of text pulled from the Time Cube website:

Creation ocurrs via opposites, but Religious/Academia pedants suppress it teaching Satanic One.    After 30 years of research, I now possess the Order of Harmonic Antipodal Cubic Divinity Life - too large for physical form, but Binary Spirit of the masculinity Sun & feminity Earth Antipodes. ONEism is demonic Death Math. I have so much to teach you, but you ignore me you evil asses. You will recognize 4 corner Days or incur Easter Island Ending.    Never a Genius knew Math to achieve my Cubic Wisdom. Cubic thought Reigns as the Highest Intelligence possible on the planet Earth. One 96 hour rotating Cube within a single rotation of Earth -- is an Ineffable Transcendence. Bible and Science falsify 1 corner day for the Cubic 4 corner Days rotating daily. A single god is not possible in our 4 Day Cubic Science, that equates Cubic Divinity. Everybody is both stupid and evil for ignoring the 4 days. Cube Divinity transcends all knowledge, Humans can't escape 4 corner Cubic Life.     Fools worship mechanics of language - while they wallow in fictitious & deceitful word. Exact science based on Cubics, not on theories. Wisdom is Cubic testing of knowledge. Academia is progression of Ignorance. No god equals Simultaneous 4 Day Creation. Humans ignore their 4 corner stages of life metamorphosis. This site is a collection of data for a coming book - peruse it. No human has 2 hands as they are opposites, like plus and minus, that cancel as entity.     Academia destroys your brain, your ability to think opposite. The eyes of the flounder fish were relocated, why were yours relocated? Your opposite eyes were moved to 1 corner to overlay for single perspective, but that corrupts your Opposite Brain.

We attempted to contact Gene Ray to discuss the website, but all methods using technology developed using the Standard Model of particle physics have so far failed.

To see Time Cube as it should be, preserved by the powers of the Internet Archive, visit this Wayback Machine link. Rest in peace, Time Cube.

WATCH MORE: Tech News


Comments

    Isn't every point on earth experiencing a different 'day'? And my ignorant schooling recognises this by apportioning time zones, more than 40 in fact. A day in one timezone is not he exact same day in another. Perhaps he is talking about 4 distinct days, rather than overlapping.

    Last edited 02/09/15 1:34 pm

      You have no idea. No idea at all.

    Didn't know the earth has four corners. I thought the earth was round. Silly me.

    I don't know why but this whole thing reminded me of 'Rejected', Don Hertzfeldt.

    Planet Earth's a cube, you poor dell ood ed rube.

    This just proved that he was right all along, and has been "silenced"!

    I don't understand the concept, anyone able to explain the theory in layman terms to me?

      Basically, time is a wobbly cube, each 24 hour set is 4 24 hour sets, there are 4 races that should not intermingle lest the child betray both races, one-news is wrong, nature is 4 is beautiful is repressed by religious academia bas*ards world.

      In other words, if you understand it, you've got one up on most of us.

      To put it another way, it is insanity mixed with a bad trip and distilled into html.

    Fear not. Alex Chiu is still around. http://www.alexchiu.com/
    You too can be immortal using his super powerful immortality rings!

    Hmm... Since this is a news site, maybe someone at Gizmodo could do some actual reporting on this? Everyone on Twitter knows the site is gone. But I want want to know why, and what happened to Gene Ray!

      It's not like I haven't tried. Dude doesn't want to be contacted.

        Check psychiatric hospitals. My guess is he suddenly realised cubes have 8 corners, and went all the way mad.

    Hmm, I thought a cube had 8 corners. Evidently time cubes must be a different shape to conventional cubes.

Join the discussion!

Trending Stories Right Now