The best way to transport your body a third of a mile is to hop on Action Park in New Jersey's 609-metre long waterslide. It's the world's longest water slide and it basically goes on forever and ever and ever. I think you could read a book by the end of the slide. Or write the next great American novel.
It's basically a river. Watch as an employee of Action Park zips down on it with a GoPro. Fun!