Although you should probably just keep a set of jump leads and a spare $20 in your car, it turns out there's a non-conventional way to revive a dead battery, using a dozen AAs, a little soldering, and some firmly-crossed fingers.
As YouTuber ElectroBoom (auspicious name!) demonstrates, you can actually jump a dead car (or, more accurately, slightly recharge a dead battery) using 12 AA batteries, connected in series. All you need to do is hook the 12 AAs together in series -- a soldering iron works, but I imagine you could probably MacGyver something with electrical tape -- connect the Frankenbattery to your car's normal battery, and wait 10 minutes. In theory, that should give you enough juice to turn the engine over.
In case you don't have a mountain of spare AAs lying around, another option is to use a cordless drill battery (12V or better), tape nails to the contacts, and connect to your car battery. Or, y'know, buy a standard and learn how to bump-start.