Paramount Cancels Team America Screenings Because Everyone’s A Coward

In the wake of Sony Pictures cancelling its release of The Interview, some theatres with actual balls opted to show Team America: World Police as a protest. No such luck. In a truly staggering act of cowardice, Paramount appears to be telling theatres to shut it all down. What the fuck.

This insane cancellation ostensibly comes from the same insane security concerns Sony Pictures folded to when it cancelled The Interview. Namely, the threat of full-on terrorist attacks at theatres by the Guardians of Peace, a organisation that so far has shown prowess only in hacking Sony’s internal network and bragging about it anonymously on Pastebin.

Terrorist threats are no laughing matter, of course, but the Department of Homeland Security has found no credible threat, and evidence that the Guardians of Peace have any sort of manpower that could do anything within the boundaries of the United States (much less at thousands of locations simultaneously) is practically non-existent. This sort of panicked cowardice would be absurd if it wasn’t so damn sad.

We’ve reached out to the theatres involved to find out if Paramount is citing an additional, specific threat against Team America: World Police screenings, or if the company is simply just assuming that theatre-threatening boogeymen wouldn’t be huge fans of this film either. We’ve also reached out to Paramount, because what the hell.

Meanwhile, evidence is mounting that perhaps North Korea itself is behind the Sony hacks and that the U.S. might officially point the finger later today. Although that doesn’t lend much more credence to threats of terrorism, considering the North Korea is pretty well known for spouting empty nonsense and launching missiles that can barely make it off the launchpad. There’s nothing more embarrassing than bowing to that.

In the meantime, who’s up for some Red Dawn?

Update: Capitol Theatre has confirmed that Paramount has pulled the film but directed us to Paramount for any further context.

Alamo Draft House has also responded with a confirmation:

We can confirm that the screening of TEAM AMERICA was cancelled as the film was pulled from release. We are issuing refunds to those that purchased tickets.