An Incredible, Insane Documentary From The Man Who Says He Named Google

If you’re going to insist you named Google and they won’t give you any money for it, you might as well do it from inside a shiny white coffin. So goes the thinking of self-described ‘San Francisco icon’ (is there any other kind?) Bob Pritikin, who has self-released a documentary about his life and legacy. Pritikin narrates his nostalgia with the bombast of the Dos Equis guy and the face and sensibility of mid-2000s William Shatner.

I mostly mean that as a compliment, and you should watch his bonkers movie.

Pritikin, known for owning the largest private residence in San Francisco, buying a globe that used to belong to Hitler, and generally being a hella rich eccentric old-man dandy who throws ragers in his mansion, can add another title to his inflated roster of accomplishments: Greatest Vanity Documentarian of Our Time.

Here are some of the things the ageing ex-ad man millionaire talks about in his meandering life story: Being good as hell at playing the saw, cocaine, coffee commercials, Jennifer Grey, war, hotelier life, magic shows, Tammy Faye Messner, a chilli lunch prepared by Johnny Cash, ecology, and telling Google they can give him money still if they want to pay him.

“I never got a nickel!” he says.

The video is more puffed-up than a Marmot jacket full of helium, which is the puffiest thing I could think of. But to be fair, Pritikin has had a legitimately bananas existence and I’m very much in favour of encouraging our dwindling supply of quirky hoteliers to record their life stories.