Who doesn’t love great films? But it takes a certain sort of person (and a certain sort of patience) to appreciate, and even love, films that may never be considered cinematic greatness. But we love them all the same.
A few weeks ago, I asked the Gizmodo crowd what was the best worst film they have ever streamed online, and the response was jam packed with suggestions. Some were cheesy horror films who’s canned lines and terrible plots made them all the more endearing and a few Troma classics, the production company that is arguably the king of b-movie masterpieces.
All that was required was that the movie was available for free via popular streaming subscription sites (Prime Instant Video, Netflix, Hulu,) or YouTube. This unfortunately ruled out some greats that have been retired from their streaming status. They have been attached as an appendix for your future streaming pleasure..erm..or maybe displeasure.
John Dies at the End
If you go into watching Don Coscarelli’s John Dies at the End hoping to watch a film with some kind of point, you will be bitterly disappointed. It’s difficult to say this movie is even bad, as it’s absurdity is 100 per cent intentional, but either way it channels that b-movie greatness that marks (or plagues?) some of the best worst movies of all time.
Rubber – A car tire that goes around blowing people up using its mind…Can’t get any better than that.
No, you can’t.
Big Trouble in Little China
It’s one of my all time favourite movies, and I don’t think it’s bad in any respect. It has a great story, great pacing, dynamic characters, and it ends on a pretty solid note. Yet every one I know seems to hate it. So I’m not sure if it’s a bad movie, and I just have horrible taste, or if it’s a great movie and I just know horrible people.
Licence to Drive
Corey Haim wants to impress a popular girl at school with getting his driver’s licence at which he fails miserably — much like this film. It’s like a really, really bad Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or something, but in the end you can’t help but smile.
Snowman becomes a serial killer. That’s a recipe for cinematic gold.
Besides being a terrible movie, it has the WORST DUBBING I’ve ever heard (way, way worse than any Japanese monster movie). I laughed/cried through the whole thing, then wondered if this is what slow death feels like.
A superhero film for the b-movie crowd. One of Troma’s most popular releases, Toxic Avenger follows Melvin Ferd III, a janitor who is doused in skin-scarring chemicals that imparts superhuman strength (do not try this at home.) With a fourth sequel in the works, Toxic Avenger is a cultural icon that embraces the inherent entertainment in traditionally “bad” cinema.
Dead Heat follows to cops who try to solve a mystery behind zombified criminals continuing their heinous crimes in the afterlife. Of course, one cop soon become a zombie himself, and the zombie-on-zombie violence ensues. Dead Heat is is great in the fact that it never takes itself seriously, both in its direction and acting. It’s just a fun watch.
Plan 9 From Outer Space
Labelled the worst movie of all time, Plan 9 From Outer Space is a terrible 1950s sci-fi film known specifically for being terrible. If this film has somehow escaped your queue for this long, now is the time to gather a like-minded group of friends, imbibe responsibly, and watch this train wreck of a film.
In The Name of the King
It’s pretty terrible, but Ray Liotta is in it as a wizard, Burt Reynolds is a king and Matthew Lillard is his deceitful nephew. It has that “shitty but kind of entertaining” charm and a very odd mixture in its cast. The two sequels do not, however, have any charm. Pretty much total poison.
Surf Nazis Must Die
Everything’s right there in the title. Watch it.
As it turns out, Nazis seem to be a common denominator for terrible films that are oddly entertaining. The recent Iron Sky (nazis on the moon) was thrown out there as well as Nazis at the Center of the Earth. How do Nazis hide in all these places?
Other flicks mentioned but no longer streaming:
The Room, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Miami Connection, The FP, Black Dynamite, Zardoz, The Core, Troll 2, Mr. Hercules Against Karate, Vegas in Space, Maximum Overdrive, To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar.
Got any other trashy flicks that you’ve streamed online that are near and dear to your heart? Air your cinematic secrets in the comments.