Briefly: The new iPhones have just hit the streets, and you know what that means: A million reviews comparing the Cupertino fruit stand’s newest smartphone to its toughest competition. Don’t waste your time. The Onion’s hilarious comparison is the only one you need to read.
Once again, the internet’s gurus of piercing satire manage to get right to the heart of the iPhone-vs-Android slapfight that’s been going on since time immemorial for the past seven years. Which smartphone reigns supreme? Which one isn’t even deserving of a child’s destructive scorn? Head on over to The Onion to find out.