Sure, the highly anticipated Apple Watch may come packing lots of "features" and "practical functions". But let's focus on what really matters -- the tiny, coloured icons that say all the things that we cannot. And in Apple Watch land, all those things are going to be impossibly creepy.
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Emoji already have a tendency towards unsettling in their own right -- and that's when they're not twerking on your wrist. But now, you get all the inherent weirdness of disembodied humanesque faces with a whole lot more tongue wagging. The future has arrived.