‘You’ll See Stephen Hawking Pole Vaulting Before You See A Security Breach With Java’

There’s a Java conference in Norway called “JavaZone” that, as you might expect, is really into a certain programming language. The organisers have garnered a reputation for putting together sharply-edited promotional “trailers” evangelising their one, true love. The humour can be a bit hit and miss (which we’ll cover shortly), but when it does succeed, as it did last year with the teaser here, it’s well worth watching.

Sure, if you’re familiar with Java, or even just coding, then you’ll get a lot more out of this, though anyone can enjoy it as long as you know Java is a programming language that some people feel is the “best”. Of course, nothing is perfect and Java certainly isn’t the bullet-proof godsend to developers everywhere that the people at JavaZone would like you to believe.

This is part of the joke, of course.

So, the video. Basically, it’s the “Javapocalypse”, a fictional universe where the “president” is able to destroy Java with a single press of a giant red button. Naturally, this is the catalyst for the downfall of civilisation, something that only the “Javatar” can fix.

JavaZone puts out these clips every year, in fact, for 2014 it put out three options, playing on Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones and House of Cards respectively. Sadly, they’re not that good (though there’s a decent, NSFW gag in the GoT one for anyone who’s watch the show — or read the books).

Warning: The clip below is NSFW!

[YouTube]