Londoners! The luckiest amongst you will be treated to a bizarre new public event next week, hosted by culinary wunderkinder Bompas & Parr. On Friday, 14 March, before a live, paying audience, "food writer, pop-up chef and Sunday Times columnist Gizzi Erskine" will "swallow a medical grade pill-cam which will broadcast its footage live to video screens".
Everyone there in attendance will thus watch, over the course of roughly two hours, as Erskine's digestive system is filmed from within, live on screens for all to see.
This "Incredible Voyage to the Center of Your Gut" might sound like your typical science demonstration, but... not quite. In fact, a "renowned gastroenterologist" will be on hand to narrate the abstract visuals — a kind of planetarium of inner space — to the accompaniment of a "freeform jazz soundtrack."
Like something out of a David Cronenberg film, the future of public entertainment will be our own bodies: tired of pornography or inured to its promise of stimulation, we will transition to a new and much stranger phase of self-exploration, watching jazz-soundtracked films of our own bowels in public.
Think of it as the logical next step of the selfie: doing away with the external surfaces of our bodies altogether and going instead for something more volumetric, true inner space, the messy, hot, coiled interior that Instagram has yet to conquer.
Alas, even Bompas & Parr don't go all the way: the evening will come to a tittering close "as the pill-cam enters Gizzi's small intestine", lest something genuinely unappetising be captured on film.