Swedish company Foreo’s got a silicon toothbrush called Issa. It vibrates like your Sonicare, and comes in woozy pastel colours. Let’s not kid ourselves: this is a sex toy disguised as a dental revolution.
Look at this thing. If somebody handed you this rod and told you to stick it into one of your bodily orifices, you’d have cause for offence. This thing looks like a fancy vibrator for sexually liberated design nerds. There’s nothing not sexual about this toothbrush.
A rep at the company’s CES booth flashed me a half-pervy smile as I lightly brushed my finger over the vibrating, studs on the Issa’s head. A tingle shot down my spine and I started giggling as if a girl was chewing on my earlobe. He explained that the replaceable brush heads only needed to be replaced once a year.
The vibrator has an indicator light that reminds you to brush if you haven’t in 12 hours. On the smaller, child’s version, a frowny face means your kid hasn’t brushed for two minutes in a half day. A smiley face means she’s done her business. If that’s not a metaphor for masturbation, I don’t know what is.
You can’t buy Foreo’s Issa toothbrush yet, but if you’d like to fuck yourself with it in the future, you can sign up for updates about availability.