It’s your Festivus party; you should be out there schmoozing with guests, not stuck in the kitchen pouring drinks. With these mechanical mixologists at your side, you’ll be able to pour a professional cocktail and still have time to be the life of the party.
The Smoking Gun
1987 called, it wants its paprika-coated deviled eggs back. We’re living in the future here people, the age of tasteless foam wedding cakes and bacon milkshakes. Give your holiday party staples a modern twist with the PolyScience Smoking Gun. This flavour infuser can impart the essence of virtually any combustible material (yes, green thumbs, even that) into your hors d’oeuvres and deserts.
The Perfect Pourer
Mixed drinks like Black and Tans, Mai Tais, and anything with a 151 float exploit the relative densities of the liquors and mixers involved to achieve their stacked effect. But given the fact that Jeff from accounting is already dancing on your coffee table, you probably have more important things to deal with than relative liquor densities. Instead, let the EZ Drink Scale from Brookstone do the heavy lifting.
This app-controlled smart bartender (iOS) combines the processing power of your iOS device with a connected smart scale featuring hundreds of drink recipes. Simply dock an iPhone or iPad to the scale and follow the onscreen directions to pour consistently perfect cocktails.
The Quiet Blender
Does your margarita maker sound more like a 747? Don’t make your guests quiet-shout their way through the evening, pick up a Blendtec Q-Series instead. Between the unit’s variable speed motor, sound-dampening enclosure, and other noise reduction systems, the Q-Series offers a solid 10 decibels of noise reduction. And since it’s a Blendtec, you can just crush up some bricks, freeze the chunks, and then use them as ice cubes.
Have Your Wine and Drink It Too
Few choices are more difficult than “when do I break out the good stuff?” With the Coravin 1000 System, the answer is “whenever darn well you please.” This device clips on to the neck of the bottle and pumps in inert argon gas that in turn pumps out the bottle’s liquid contents into your mouth. Since an inert noble gas replaces the vessel’s contents in equal measure the remaining stock is not exposed to oxygen and can continue to mature unabated.
The Portable, Peddlealble Pub
Don’t let your holiday gathering devolve into mindless small-talk and naval-gazing. Instead, bring your guests together with a bit of pedal-powered power-drinking aboard the aptly-named Pedal Pub. You and 16 of your closest compatriots (nine of whom must be willing to pedal) can bar-crawl in perfectly choreographed fashion.