During my lunch break yesterday, I decided to do a little multitasking and give the kind folks at PayPal a call regarding an ongoing issue I was having with my account. I figured, stupidly, that a company as big as PayPal would have more than three people working the whole of their customer service wing.
As the call disconnected two hours and 15 minutes of hold time later — likely because even the automated system got bored talking to me — I realised how very wrong I was. Here’s a quick recap.
Turns out I could have spent my time much more wisely than listening to a disinterested robot explain the basics of PayPal’s claims system. Here are more than 500 movies, some veritable classic cinema, any of which I could have watched instead of listening to PayPal’s hold music.
| The Spiral Staircase |
| People on Sunday |
| Reservoir Dogs |
| WALL·E |
| Toy Story |
| The Lion King |
| Shrek |
| Up |
| Fargo |
| Trainspotting |
| Juno |
| Monty Python and the Holy Grail |
| Monsters, Inc. |
| Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb |
| Shaun of the Dead |
| Taken |
| 12 Angry Men |
| Cloverfield |
| Toy Story 2 |
| Men in Black |
| Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan |
| Zombieland |
| The Princess Bride |
| American Pie |
| Hancock |
| The Simpsons Movie |
| (500) Days of Summer |
| Shrek 2 |
| Life of Brian |
| Ice Age |
| Stand by Me |
| Kung Fu Panda |
| 127 Hours |
| Beauty and the Beast |
| Clerks. |
| The Blair Witch Project |
| Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy |
| The Nightmare Before Christmas |
| Jumper |
| Horrible Bosses |
| A History of Violence |
| The Fountain |
| Moon |
| Office Space |
| Aladdin |
| Eastern Promises |
| Crank |
| Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me |
| The Breakfast Club |
| Liar Liar |
| Run Lola Run |
| Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery |
| South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut |
| Mean Girls |
| Madagascar |
| Scary Movie |
| Hero |
| Napoleon Dynamite |
| Zoolander |
| Despicable Me |
| Paranormal Activity |
| Midnight in Paris |
| Austin Powers in Goldmember |
| Shrek the Third |
| Jurassic Park III |
| A Bug’s Life |
| Annie Hall |
| Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer |
| Beetlejuice |
| Rush Hour |
| Final Destination |
| Identity |
| Halloween |
| First Blood |
| Charlie’s Angels |
| Bridget Jones’s Diary |
| The Descent |
| Drag Me to Hell |
| Airplane! |
| Ice Age: The Meltdown |
| Pi |
| Rush Hour 2 |
| Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls |
| American Wedding |
| Cube |
| Big Daddy |
| When Harry Met Sally… |
| Army of Darkness |
| A Nightmare on Elm Street |
| Chicken Run |
| Kung Fu Panda 2 |
| Rushmore |
| Flightplan |
| The Virgin Suicides |
| Before Sunset |
| This Is Spinal Tap |
| Bad Teacher |
| The Evil Dead |
| A Christmas Story |
| Elf |
| Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs |
| The Little Mermaid |
| Resident Evil: Afterlife |
| Shark Tale |
| What Happens in Vegas |
| Punch-Drunk Love |
| Bad Santa |
| Megamind |
| [Rec] |
| The Ugly Truth |
| Event Horizon |
| My Big Fat Greek Wedding |
| Paths of Glory |
| Rocky IV |
| Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs |
| Raising Arizona |
| Bolt |
| Evil Dead II |
| Mulan |
| Over the Hedge |
| Antz |
| The Iron Giant |
| Mad Max |
| Kung Fu Hustle |
| Good Night, and Good Luck. |
| Rambo: First Blood Part II |
| The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! |
| Carrie |
| Blazing Saddles |
| The Fly |
| Idiocracy |
| A Fistful of Dollars |
| Manhattan |
| Fantastic Mr. Fox |
| Commando |
| The Seventh Seal |
| The Man from Earth |
| Rio |
| Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior |
| Modern Times |
| My Neighbor Totoro |
| Clueless |
| Rashomon |
| Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa |
| Grave of the Fireflies |
| The Curse of the Were-Rabbit |
| An Education |
| Night of the Living Dead |
| Land of the Dead |
| TRON |
| Babe |
| The Full Monty |
| Horton Hears a Who! |
| The Strangers |
| Monsters vs Aliens |
| The Texas Chain Saw Massacre |
| Big Trouble in Little China |
| The Lost Boys |
| Bee Movie |
| Christmas Vacation |
| Once |
| The Jungle Book |
| Tarzan |
| Escape from New York |
| Irreversible |
| The Nutty Professor |
| Rope |
| Robots |
| Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs |
| Space Jam |
| Caddyshack |
| Elephant |
| Planes, Trains & Automobiles |
| The Emperor’s New Groove |
| High Noon |
| Pocahontas |
| Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure |
| Easy Rider |
| Hercules |
| Honey, I Shrunk the Kids |
| City Lights |
| Mr. Bean’s Holiday |
| Tremors |
| The Day the Earth Stood Still |
| Touch of Evil |
| Tucker and Dale vs Evil |
| Lilo & Stitch |
| Wrong Turn |
| Anaconda |
| La Haine |
| Bicycle Thieves |
| The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear |
| Fast Times at Ridgemont High |
| Blood Simple. |
| Bean |
| Nosferatu |
| Delicatessen |
| Little Fockers |
| Mary and Max |
| Friday the 13th |
| Stuart Little |
| Bambi |
| Enter the Dragon |
| The Prince of Egypt |
| Persepolis |
| Journey to the Center of the Earth |
| Alice in Wonderland |
| Doctor Dolittle |
| Cabin Fever |
| Look Who’s Talking |
| Sleeping Beauty |
| The Flintstones |
| Scooby-Doo |
| Stir of Echoes |
| The Warriors |
| Monsters |
| Eraserhead |
| Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles |
| Slither |
| The Hunchback of Notre Dame |
| Cinderella |
| Ghost in the Shell |
| A Single Man |
| House of 1000 Corpses |
| Hellraiser |
| 101 Dalmatians |
| Bedtime Stories |
| In the Mood for Love |
| Pinocchio |
| The Princess and the Frog |
| The Night of the Hunter |
| Pink Floyd The Wall |
| Puss in Boots |
| Harold and Maude |
| The Squid and the Whale |
| The Killing |
| The 400 Blows |
| Duck Soup |
| Say Anything… |
| An American Werewolf in London |
| Three Colors: Red |
| Heavenly Creatures |
| Three Colors: Blue |
| Dumbo |
| Driving Miss Daisy |
| They Live |
| Anastasia |
| Hachi: A Dog’s Tale |
| Titan A.E. |
| High Tension |
| Risky Business |
| Wild Strawberries |
| Show Me Love |
| The Gold Rush |
| Best in Show |
| Robin Hood |
| The Station Agent |
| A Christmas Carol |
| Videodrome |
| Frankenstein |
| Lady and the Tramp |
| Clue |
| Ring |
| Addams Family Values |
| Alvin and the Chipmunks |
| Beavis and Butt-Head Do America |
| Bloodsport |
| Breathless |
| El mariachi |
| Bottle Rocket |
| Little Shop of Horrors |
| Duel |
| Child’s Play |
| Bubba Ho-Tep |
| Peter Pan |
| Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey |
| Waking Life |
| The Wrong Trousers |
| Paranormal Activity 3 |
| Chicken Little |
| Primer |
| Waltz with Bashir |
| His Girl Friday |
| The Land Before Time |
| The Wicker Man |
| The Triplets of Belleville |
| Sexy Beast |
| Love Me If You Dare |
| Four Lions |
| The 39 Steps |
| Persona |
| Pee-wee’s Big Adventure |
| Candyman |
| Halloween II |
| House of the Dead |
| The Fog |
| Wristcutters: A Love Story |
| Darkman |
| The Producers |
| Suspiria |
| Dead Man’s Shoes |
| Martyrs |
| The Human Centipede (First Sequence) |
| Brother Bear |
| Badlands |
| The Kid |
| Gulliver’s Travels |
| Three Colors: White |
| Aguirre: The Wrath of God |
| Bad Taste |
| The Transformers: The Movie |
| Treasure Planet |
| Battleship Potemkin |
| The Fox and the Hound |
| The Chorus |
| In the Mouth of Madness |
| Soylent Green |
| Manos: The Hands of Fate |
| The Counterfeiters |
| Short Circuit |
| Chungking Express |
| Exit Through the Gift Shop |
| The Lady Vanishes |
| After Hours |
| 3-Iron |
| The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari |
| THX 1138 |
| James and the Giant Peach |
| Cannibal Holocaust |
| The Hitcher |
| History of the World: Part I |
| The Return of the Living Dead |
| The AristoCats |
| How the Grinch Stole Christmas! |
| Forbidden Planet |
| Dinosaur |
| Spider |
| Sleeper |
| The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters |
| A Close Shave |
| Airplane II: The Sequel |
| The Bride of Frankenstein |
| Invasion of the Body Snatchers |
| The Purple Rose of Cairo |
| A Hard Day’s Night |
| Days of Heaven |
| The Cove |
| Re-Animator |
| Porco Rosso |
| Romper Stomper |
| Friday the 13th Part 2 |
| Smokey and the Bandit |
| Man on Wire |
| Dead Calm |
| Freaks |
| Black Dynamite |
| Somewhere |
| Stagecoach |
| Dracula |
| Laura |
| Paprika |
| Hedwig and the Angry Inch |
| Zelig |
| The Italian Job |
| The Limey |
| Assault on Precinct 13 |
| The Party |
| Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask |
| Hunger |
| The Barbarian Invasions |
| Kickboxer |
| Un Chien Andalou |
| Roger & Me |
| An American Tail |
| Miracle on 34th Street |
| A Night at the Opera |
| Man Bites Dog |
| G-Force |
| Brief Encounter |
| Welcome to the Dollhouse |
| Tsotsi |
| Paranoid Park |
| Halloween III: Season of the Witch |
| The Last House on the Left |
| Sunrise |
| The Eye |
| Dogtooth |
| Bananas |
| Friday the 13th Part III |
| Fido |
| The Muppet Movie |
| 2 Days in Paris |
| The Rescuers |
| Adam’s Apples |
| Love and Death |
| Hellbound: Hellraiser II |
| Troll 2 |
| Repo Man |
| The War of the Worlds |
| Koyaanisqatsi |
| May |
| Shutter |
| Ninja Scroll |
| Near Dark |
| Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron |
| Five Easy Pieces |
| The Dinner Game |
| Waking Ned Devine |
| Up in Smoke |
| Rumble Fish |
| Fantasia/2000 |
| The Damned United |
| Wet Hot American Summer |
| Inside |
| Frozen River |
| The Trouble with Harry |
| Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel |
| Batman: Mask of the Phantasm |
| The Double Life of Veronique |
| The Thin Man |
| Double Team |
| The Secret of NIMH |
| Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown |
| Baraka |
| Radio Days |
| Barbarella |
| Love Story |
| Heavy Metal |
| Strictly Ballroom |
| Arthur |
| Babe: Pig in the City |
| Out of the Past |
| The Omega Man |
| The Great Mouse Detective |
| The Illusionist |
| The Ladykillers |
| Cujo |
| Westworld |
| Suspicion |
| Them |
| Paradise Now |
| Stranger Than Paradise |
| Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer |
| The Lorax |
| Ivan Vasilievich: Back to the Future |
| Outrageous Class |
| The Howling |
| Death Race 2000 |
| The Girl Who Leapt Through Time |
| The Man Without a Past |
| Last Days |
| Sherlock Jr. |
| Scarface |
| Phantasm |
| Killer Klowns from Outer Space |
| The Hills Have Eyes |
| Black Christmas |
| The Blob |
| Beauty and the Beast |
| Sweet Smell of Success |
| Yellow Submarine |
| Lifeboat |
| Vanishing Point |
| Dead End |
| The Shop Around the Corner |
| To Be or Not to Be |
| Zombie |
| Gentlemen Prefer Blondes |
| Storytelling |
| Sanjuro |
| Cries & Whispers |
| Children of Heaven |
| Sullivan’s Travels |
| The Room |
| Perfect Blue |
| The Last Unicorn |
| The Thing from Another World |
| The Ox-Bow Incident |
| The Invisible Man |
| The Shootist |
| The Lady from Shanghai |
| The Magnificent Ambersons |
| The Exterminating Angel |
| Silent Running |
| The Virgin Spring |
| Broadway Danny Rose |
| Angels with Dirty Faces |
| Umberto D. |
| Dark Star |
| My Man Godfrey |
| Hairspray |
| My Darling Clementine |
| In July |
| Hiroshima, mon amour |
| The Quiet Earth |
| The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh |
| Cronos |
| The Black Cauldron |
| Alphaville |
| Quick Change |
| Pink Flamingos |
| The Toxic Avenger |
| A Better Tomorrow |
| Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon |
| The Monster Squad |
| A Christmas Carol |
| Closely Watched Trains |
| Forbidden Games |
| The Mark of Zorro |
| Ruthless People |
| Gummo |
| Take the Money and Run |
| The Fog of War: Eleven Lessons from the Life of Robert S. McNamara |
| Gold Diggers of 1933 |
| Detour |
| Mother and Son |
| Russian Ark |
Picture: Refat/Shutterstock