Cable companies are universally regarded as only slightly more popular than evil dictators, and a little less fashionable than certain strains of STDs. How do you fix something like that? Honesty!
We're awful; we're unstoppable; you'll hate us; deal with it. That's something you could respect (and would be applicable basically everywhere in the world except east Asia). Hell, I'd probably switch to this company if it were real. [YouTube]