How That Call From Victoria Police To Apple Might Have Gone Down

Victoria Police has taken the unusual step of contacting Apple after a number of motorists made the foolish mistake of actually trusting Apple Maps on an iOS 6 device. Here's how we imagine the conversation went.

APPLE: Good morning, this is Apple. We reinvented the mobile phone with our revolutionary iPhone. How can I help you?

VICTORIAN POLICE: G'day, I'm Sergeant Frank Gilroy from Victoria Police. We've had a number of complaints from motorists getting lost after following directions on the latest version of Apple Maps. I'd like to speak to someone about getting that rectified.

APPLE: Do you have AppleCare?

POLICE: I'm sorry?

APPLE: We can only fix products if you have purchased an AppleCare extended warranty.

POLICE: Well, that's rubbish for a start, but it's really not relevant. This is potentially a very big legal issue.

APPLE: I could put you through to our legal department, but I think they're all busy applying for jobs at Samsung.

POLICE: I just want to speak to someone about your Maps product and what's wrong with it.

APPLE: We don't comment on unannounced products.

POLICE: This isn't an unannounced product.

APPLE: It's in beta. Same difference.

POLICE: Look, there's quite a high risk of someone dying here. Something needs to be done about it.

APPLE: Oh, OK, I'll put you through to one of our Geniuses. Please hold.

GENIUS: Hi, this is Timothy from Apple. We design Macs, the best personal computers in the world. I'll be helping you with your problem today. So what's the issue?

POLICE: Apple Maps seems to think Mildura is in the middle of a national park.

GENIUS: Are you sure it isn't?

POLICE: I beg your pardon?

GENIUS: National parks are fairly large. Are you sure that Mildura isn't hiding somewhere in a ravine?

POLICE: Yes, I'm sure. I think the 30,000 people who live there would notice. Look Timothy, we've had a major problem with people wandering in the park for hours after getting misdirected and then not being able to find any phone signal.

GENIUS: Hey, if people choose to be Vodafone customers, that's not our fault.

POLICE: This buggy software is clearly your fault. Your CEO even apologised for it.

GENIUS: Oh I don't think so. We're Apple. We never apologise. We're too busy defining the future of mobile media and computing devices with iPad.

POLICE: Oh, it definitely happened. Tim Cook even suggested that drivers should use other software.

GENIUS: Well, there you go. If people had just followed his advice, they wouldn't be in this predicament, would they? But I appreciate you've been inconvenienced. Would you like some iTunes credit?

[Sergeant Gilroy hangs up]



    Did the Officer take the iTunes credits? I'd be concerned at the ethics of this unless he passes them onto those people that got lost. I think he should have maybe sent a formal letter instead of ringing. Good on the officer trying to make a difference though.

      Can't tell if trolling or stupid

        That's how they *imagine* the convo went. It's both.

        Not trolling, not stupid.
        Clearly just forgot the [joking] tag!

    Haha, this is great.

    "Hey, if people choose to be Vodafone customers, that’s not our fault"
    Best ever!

    Apple Charged with Causing a public nuance. :P :D

    Just wondering why all the fuss. I have an iPhone 5 and, wait for it, a Garmin GPS. iPhone works just fine (as a phone) and funnily enough, so does the Garmin as a GPS. Horses for courses. Don't buy a cricket bat to play tennis...

      What a ridiculous response. Your solution to Apple's poor software is to spend $150-200 on an alternative device? Smartphones have been perfectly reliable navigation devices for years. I've been using Tomtom and Google Maps Navigation on my various smartphones as my sole source of mapping & navigation data for the past 6 years, and I've never ever had an issue.

      Apple Maps is "the most powerful mapping service ever" according to their website. It's supposed to be a reliable way of finding your way around, and is promoted as a genuine alternative to a stand-alone GPS navigation system. Sadly, it's not even close.

      These people were led badly astray by the poor mapping provided by Apple, who apparently can't manage to provide accurate maps of the areas they claim to support. Had these people used Google Maps (Android) or Nokia Maps (Nokia) or any one of several navigation apps provided by Garmin and others, they would have been directed safely to their destination without a fuss, rather than wandering around in the boonies, hoping they find a way out before their battery dies.

        Horse for courses as I said. I'm a helicopter pilot working in the outback amongst other places and sure as hell would not rely on ANY bloody mobile phone for navigation on the ground OR in the air, regardless of the brand.
        My iPhone 5 is supplied by my employer and anyone wanting to use it's maps AFTER all the bad press is beyond me.
        My response is not ridiculous, it is based on common sense, obviously in short supply with some people. Does your phone maps have contours and tracks? No? Well it's a toy then.
        The extra $150 to $200 well spent I would say, on a dedicated GPS, at least the screen is clear and large, as is the other Garmin in my to go to work in the real world.

          I see your point, but Apple boasted to no end about how their Maps app is the most powerful navigation app ever etc, so you can't blame people for deciding to rely on their phone over a dedicated GPS (not making excuses for the people stuck in the park, surely they could have followed road signs to Mildura).

          People like you, who have to have extremely accurate mapping data etc, will rely on a dedicated GPS obviously, and that's fine. But the average Joe should be able to expect to get by fine with a navigation app on their phone. I've relied on Google Maps and now Sensis' Whereis app and have never been lost or thrown off-course from using them, and would still stick with that over spending a couple hundred on another device I don't really need if my phone does the job fine.

          Apple has only ever advertised Maps in the context of road-based navigation. Naturally you wouldn't use it or any other consumer-grade road navigator for navigation in the air (lol). However reliable road maps and navigation software has been available on smartphones for years and years - the same data and navigation algorithms used in stnadalone TomTom and Navteq units. They are literally the same horse, running the same course, with a different "saddle" (i.e. hardware, to stretch the analogy a bit).

          Naturally you would use a Garmin GPS that includes elevation data for flying. But that usage scenario is completely outside the scope of what Apple Maps, Google Maps and Nokia Maps is trying to achieve and therefore irrelevant. It's a completely different "course", which those "horses" are not even attempting to run.

      So if I have an iPhone but want to play games I should also buy a Nintendo 3DS, and if I want to read ebooks buy a Kindle, and if I want to read a website buy a laptop, take photos buy a camera, listen to music buy an iPod, watch a video buy a portable DVD player, also buy a calculator, voice recorder and notebook for notes. I don't think so, smart phones are are multi-purpose devices. If you only use your iPhone for making calls, you are doing it wrong.

    Google Maps navigation and (free) Navigon - which is produced by Garmin, I think - work jes' fine on my Galaxy Note....

      Apple Maps navigation and Metroview work just fine on my iPhone 5.

    I really don't understand how this got this far? Surely, they would have been able to see that there was more trees than houses? Surely they would have realised that they'd been travelling a lot longer than they should have? No one is really that silly... are they..?

    I hear Apple are working hard on getting more accurate location data, I hope they keep at it because the current data is a bit poor, although for te most part it has got me to my destination. It's hardly unusual though, within the last few years Google maps has told me to drive through blocked off dead end streets and once told to drive a fire track through the hills to get somewhere (it wasn't even open to the public and was clearly a 4wd track!).

    Not this again. Beating a dead horse perhaps? I've used Apple Maps with guided turn by turn (thank you, finally) on numerous occasions around Sydney and have had no issues whatsover. It's fantastic (voice could be louder, though).

    The software has had teething issues, Apple's CEO has apologised and has promised to fix it. It's a free service, get over it.

    what ever happened to people using a good old street directory?

    pretty funny, but it's probably closer to reality to say it went something like this..

    Police: Can't get through to Apple because no-one there seems to know how to use a phone anyway. And if we leave a message, no-one replies either.

    That's it really. Not much more to it.
    Not as funny I know.

    I like the use of Frank Gilroy... Wandin Valley Police I'm assuming?

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