This CO2-Powered Gauntlet’s Claims Of Crushing Prowess Are Unimpressive

This CO2-Powered Gauntlet’s Claims Of Crushing Prowess Are Unimpressive

It might look like a badass start to your own Iron Man suit, but on closer inspection, this $US3300 CO2-powered Exo-Gauntlet on Etsy won’t quite give you Tony Stark-like superpowers.

In fact, its claims of crushing cans, plastic cups and bruising arms don’t exactly seem like they’ll make any of our superhero fantasies come true. And if this thing were to malfunction you’d probably find yourself in the hospital instead of accepting the keys to the city from the mayor. Here’s how it was greeted in our Gizmodo chat room:

Andrew L. can I interest anyone in a C02 powered gauntlet with 250 psi of crushing power?…

Michael Z. awesome
Barrett me, andrew, me!
Andrew L. sold!
Michael Z. where did you find?
Casey C. whats normal crushing power
Jesus it depends on how the force is exerted and where
that thing looks dangerous
for whoever is wearing it
but cool
Andrew L. around 40psi from what I can see
Michael Z. well you have those grip trainers which typically have 40-80 lbs of resistance. don’t know what that means exactly but it should be some indaction
Barrett like for example I can crush a walnut with my thumb and forefinger
(no I can’t)
Joe how many PSI does it take to crumple quarter-inch steel like burnt paper?
Andrew L. for $US3300 you can!
Joe because I can do that with my mind
Jesus “When activated all the fingers close with a grip strong enough to break hard plastic cups and crush empty cans.”
Jesus ?
Sam B. that’s not very strong…
Jesus yeah
that’s kind of shitty
Joe I like to crush full cans
Jesus I can crush empty cans
and “hard plastic cup”
Joe and drink the soda through the cuts in my hands
Sam B. I’m not any kind of badass and I can crush a can
Jesus what’s a hard plastic cup for these people?
Michael Z. red solo cup
Jesus I’m not impressed by this shit contraption
Andrew L. probably not a red solo
Wagner jock strap
Jesus “At this power level the gauntlet has a grip so strong it will bruise your arm.”
Andrew T. what does it do to melons?
Michael Z. hahaha crushing a mini watermelon or canteloupe in one hand would be boss
Jesus I can bruise an arm with my bare hand. What are these shitty examples?
Barrett hahahaha
Sam B. changed the room’s topic to I’m not impressed by this shit contraption
Sam B. “At max power it can pinch a baby’s bottom and make it smile”
Sam B. “At max power it can make a piece of lettuce crinkle”
Jesus this seems like some wanker who wanted to become a supervillain and discovered his powergaunlet was shit
and then is trying to sell it
Barrett “Some users choose to ‘overclock’ their gauntlet, allowing them to squeeze juice from an overripe tomato.”
Sam B. “At max power I can wave hello to you from across a restaurant”


Jesus hah
Jesus this power gaunlet is useless
Sam B. DEPLOY THE … EM…….. P………..
Jesus stupid gaunlet
Joe Let’s definitely post this as an unedited Andrew

[Etsy via CNET]