Anyone Can Play Steve Jobs -- Even Kutcher

Our first reaction to Ashton Kutcher playing Steve Jobs was abject horror. But once the because it's Ashton Kutcher! nausea dissipates, you're left with something more salient: Steve Jobs is not a hard acting role. And Ashton might be perfect.

The Steve Kutcher backlash is off the mark for two reasons. First, Kutcher will star in the other Steve Jobs movie -- not the Aaron Sorkin-penned adaptation of the official Jobs bio. So, for that reason alone, relax a little. This isn't going to be the main event of Apple founder cinema.

I understand your qualms. Ashton Kutcher is a complete doofus. He's childish. He's impulsive. He turned his back on his wife and ruined his own family. He atoned by banging Rihanna. He doesn't care what other people think -- yet cultivates an aura of immaculate vanity. The hair! The annoying beard! The 10 million (plus!) Twitter followers. He loves recognition. Ask Kutcher who and what he is and you might get this Twitter bio in reply:

I make stuff, actually I make up stuff, stories mostly, collaborations of thoughts, dreams, and actions. Thats me.

A dreamer! An artist! A star of Two and a Half Men. A mercenary. But above all, a emotional amoeba who pretty much does what he wants because it's clear he thinks he just can.

Sound familiar?

If you push aside all his frosty-eyed adoration, the man revealed by Walter Isaacson arsehole apologia was an impulsive brat too. A brat of world historical stature, but a brat. Jobs demeaned everyone around him, spurned his own family, and was the consummate, brilliant techno-egomaniacal ego-worshipper. The bulk of his genius was expressed via high school cursing geysers, browbeating, bullying, and staring without blinking.

Is that so hard to emulate? What actor can't yell "This is s**t!" on cue? What screen gravitas does it take to tell someone they f**king suck, over and over? There are no Edison scenes of invention, no Beautiful Mind moments of scribbling formulas. Steve Jobs' eureka moments were him walking into a room of programmers and saying, in short, Hey fuck faces, do this thing this way, and by the way. Bye. To the extent that he was a man of big ideas, they were big ideas stuffed inside, out of reach of any camera.

Steve Jobs was not a man of complex behaviour, nor did he live a life of churning conflict. Nobody is asking Ashton Kutcher to portray Nixon, or MLK Jr, or Nietzsche. Or even Zuckerberg. It's easy to be a jerk -- Ashton lives it daily. So while he's not a good actor by any means, he simply doesn't have to be one to pull off a decent Jobs. Besides, you can't deny they do look a lot alike on the outside, too. Ralph Fiennes or Christian Bale would be artful, sure! But could he grow that hair and dirty beard? Unlikely.

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    He has a single acting style however... Dude, where's my car?

    Unless Jobs was a massively lost stoner, Kutcher can't do it.

    He was actually pretty awesome in The Butterfly Effect. But that's it.

    "To the extent that he was a man of big ideas, they were big ideas stuffed inside, out of reach of any camera."

    I think they are going to have to portray that. I don't agree that the film can be just him walking around saying "f&%$ you" and "this is sh&%". It won't make for an entertaining two hours of film unless they are striving to make a comedy. For the film to work I think there will need to be a hell of a lot more going for it than a bunch of swear words and people getting upset enough to try harder. If they fail to capture some of his complexities and just paint him to be a stubborn potty mouth, then I think the film will have failed.

    It's going to suck. Jobs was an asshole, but he wasn't boring. Ashton Kutcher is boring and cannot act.

    I think it will be good. I mean, has Ashton ever even been cast in a role before that actually required him to be anything more than "Dude where's my car" serious???? I am no major fine, but I think maybe people are writing him off too soon. Anyway, only the release of the film will tell...

      There was The Butterfly Effect, which I thought was a pretty good film actually.

      I watched this recent film, Spread with Anne Heche which was something of an indie drama, or at least marketed as such. Kutcher can't act his way out of a paper bag. Even when trying to portray a down-on-his-luck, earnest loser, he still comes off as a colossal fratboy douchebag.

    Let it be made, watch it, then give your opinion. You never know if he'll do a good job until its been made

      Sorry, but that's not how movie-making works. "Well, there's a good chance it might be a piece of shit, but it might not! Let's sink in millions of dollars and see what happens." Studios are in the business of making money, so someone somewhere obviously thinks this is a done deal.

    Sorry, but the manchild douchenozzle version of Steve Jobs was already perfected by Noah Wyle in Pirates of Silicon Valley. This project is completely unnecessary, other than to cash in on the recent death, much like the biography.

      I agree. Its dated a little in that "1990s made for TV" way, but its a still a damn good film and probably the most accurate portrayal of the lives of the awesome geeks and hippies in the 70s and 80s, who changed home computing forever.

    OMFG they need to stop with the "Star of two and a half men" thing. He's not the star, he's the guy who was subbed in, Charlie was the star, and the only reason that show is still around, he built the show.

    This comment has been deemed inappropriate and has been deleted.

    @ Franz - I totally agree with you, and I absolutely refuse to watch "ANYTHING" that ASShton is in, I just don't get what the attraction is when it comes to him. He's boring and cannot act, and he is definitely not a "STAR". He doesn't even deserve to be called an actor! This will be just another of his (failed box office) movies that few will want to see, and the only loser here will be the studio that hired/hires him.

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